My mom was hospitalized. I thought she was just staying at the neighbors but she actually had broken in and was staying there without them knowing. This was a shock, now she’s three hours away at a hospital and will probably be there for a month or more. I’m really hoping she’s getting the most help she can. It’s been years the state/county system wasn’t sure what to do and wouldn’t approve requests for inpatient involuntary commitment. This time my dad decided to stay away and let the state handle it. I’m alone at the house neither parents are here. I’m trying to maintain my outlook but it’s been a lot at once.
My dad’s going to find her a new house, find me a new apartment, and he wants to sell the house within a few months. Which means we have no family home anymore. I don’t want him to do it but I have no choice. He’s going into debt to do this. I don’t see why we can’t keep the house. He also is going to divorce my mom…which isn’t fair either. Whose going to take care of her? And I still am not sure if I have medication refilled at the pharmacy yet. I keep calling and it’s not approved yet.
I see you are going through a tough time with mom being hospitised and divorced. Take care of yourself and your mom. Visit your mom as often as possible. I remember when I was hospitized four years ago my husband traveled 3 hours by train to visit me everyday. His daily visit helped greatly the process of my recovery.
The divorce is his decision. It hs nothing to do with you. It is hard on him too that your mom is ill, have you talked about it? What does he think and feel?
It is great though that he finds your mom and you a new place instead of just leaving.
So sorry StarryNight, what crummy news for your family. I hope your mom is recovering well and I hope your dad comes to his senses instead of being selfish too. Keep us informed on how things go.
If I could hug you I would, but as was stated at least your dad is providing for you both instead of just walking away.
This is likely very hard for him, and I am sure he has been dealing with it for a long time, and if your dad wanted your mom hospitalized involuntarily, it means she was refusing treatment, so he may just feel he has no choice but to cut ties with her for his own well being.
I’m not saying hes doing something that is ‘fair’ but he may be doing what he feels is right for himself. I hate to sound mean, or even cruel, but I have seen healthy people get so dragged down by mentally ill loved ones who refuse treatment, tat they become very ill themselves, I know my group has a couple husbands who are suffering from severe depression because their wives refuse to treat their own illnesses, one of them even passed out behind the wheel after he was kept away for three weeks straight by depression fueled nightmares, luckily he just coasted into someone’s front lawn, but if he had been on the highway?
I know its hard, believe me, I know what its like when family doesn’t support a mentally ill member, but there is almost always a bigger picture, one that involves more angles, more facets than any single person, particularly one who is biased, can see for themselves. So just try to look at it from your dad’s point of view.
My dad visited my mom yesterday. He said she’s doing better, that he’s impressed with the treatment team. And that he hopes she will be there long enough to make some recoveries. I’m not mad or resent my dad’s decision. I’m just worried that it will be too much for him to handle, however he really wants things to change. He’s not abandoning my mom. He loves her very much and I think this is the best for everyone. He’s finding her a place where she’ll be able to walk around but I’m sure he’ll be visiting and checking up on her often too. You are right, this has been a very hard thing for the family. I need to be looking for a place to stay and a job soon. I need to find a job as soon as possible. I’m kind of under the weather at the moment.
So happy my mom is getting medication and help. I’m also glad that the police officers handled the situation professionally, and that the neighbors didn’t press charges because they know my family and although upset, were more understanding than others would have been.
Hi @StarryNight
Your Mom is being taken care of.
I know it’s hard, but sometimes it’s best to concentrate on yourself and make sure you stay well during trying times.
Big hugggg. Stay well and I hope a job comes your way. My son was working for a year helping a handicapped guy in a wheelchair. and finally got a job in the HVAC field that he studied for. So I know it’s hard out there but keep on trying.
You may not get your dream job at first.
Do you have assistance about how to get a job ? I used to hang out at the inemployment office and they had free classes and local jobs that needed no experience.
sometimes parents may have their own problems and be unable to help You with growing up. This is not fair I know.
But know that there is a love bond that has kept human families going on for generations. I resolved to never make the mistakes that my parents made on us. But then I got sick too. My husband helped too but it is stressful to deal with sick people.
When your Mom gets better she will remember the good times and get back to helping you. So I’m sorry she can’t be there for you now. My son was able to talk to other men on sports teams and stuff because his father was not perfect either and made many mistakes.
A therapist can help with talking about these things. I hope you have a good one because growing up is hard in everyone. And it never stops, because life is just constant learning to deal with the reality you live in.
It’s just an excuse to abuse me. It’s mothers day and I get to be hit and thrown on the floor and called a monster repeatedly. I almost heard voices after he hit me so hard on the head I fell over, and kept hitting me. If he loved this house so much more than me, why’d he leave for a year and think he can fix everything in one day and blame his choices on me. It’s mothers day. This is how i got treated when she wasn’t able to protect me. I hate him so much. I wish he was dead. He’s evil. I have no one to talk to and I’m sick, and he verbally and physically assaulted me because the house got messy, and I was in bed because i was sick. I have migraines so bad they’re making me cry, and all he cares about is how he’s right and I’m worthless.
