So I’m worried about my daughter. She’s 11, almost 12 and is just so difficult. She often struggles with math, which I have to help her with at night. I noticed last night when her father was working with her, she would make random noises, like a tic. She often fights with us and yells at us. I’m wondering if she is becoming like me. At bedtime, she will tell me all her troubles and that she has no friends. She is very scattered, seems anxious, and has difficulties sleeping. I’m considering making her doctor appointment to get a referral for a psychiatrist. I really don’t want to medicate her. I feel i’ve Lost parts of my past do to sz medications. Any thoughts?
Get her into the doctor. She may benefit from therapy, medicine isn’t a guarantee. But it’s better to be evaluated early than wait until she’s really down hill and struggling.
If she has a family history, it’s probably a good idea to have her see a psychologist, just to keep an eye on things. Really, I think all people can benefit from a therapist, regardless of mental health status.
Her tics and anxiousness could be due to a variety of things, including just going through puberty. But if there is anything that needs to be treated, at least you’re catching it early. Early intervention makes a huge difference in overall prognosis.
I actually talked to her pediatrician a year ago about her anxiety and he said it’s normal. I just think i’ve Reached a point of me going nuts from my daughter’s anger/aniexty. Ugh!
I just got trained as a public school parapro tutor. The tic noises sound a little like autism. Not saying she has that but maybe she is a very high functioning special needs child? Maybe she is normal and is going through a growth spert. I wouldn’t worry about it, most kids will end up fine as they get older as long as there is good guidance and motivation to succeed.
If you’re concerned, bring it up again. If you still think something is wrong and her pediatrician brushes you off, get a second opinion.
A good therapist can be a help, but I insist " a good one"
A doctor and therapy for the anxiety are always a possibiity. So are math tutors, often free in schools, as well as counselors, sometimes gettng that extra help can boost confidence as the subject is mastered.
This sounds just like me when I was her age! Being bad at math, my tics started around then, I fought with my parents constantly. I had no friends. I was scattered, anxious, and has difficulties sleeping.
They took me to a therapist, didn’t do really anything for me.
In my experience, I only got worse as I aged. My mother called it the ‘terrible twelves’ because I never went through the dreaded terrible twos.
I had a very rebellious youth. I had to repair my relationship with my parents when I was older.
My advice to you is to be understanding. Being a girl is very hard, especially at that age. My parents were very overprotective of me, and because of that I fought back hard.
Give her space, but not too much. You have to be supportive, but not clingy. If she has any hobbies, I would suggest helping her focus on that.
Piano lessons really helped distract me through tough times as a kid. It was something for me to look forward to when nothing else mattered.
Good luck. The road ahead might be tough for a few years with raising a teenage girl. (Maybe not, I was a complete nightmare though) Just remember she loves you, even if she’s mean when she fights with you.
My daughter went thru something similar. She’s in college and ok now
A pediatrician may not be equipped to make that judgement. In any case, her distress should be addressed, whether that’s through therapy, or if it’s severe and doesn’t resolve, possibly medication. With kids that’s kind of a last resort, but they shouldn’t be left to suffer terribly just because of their age.
Thank you all for advice!!! I’m going to make an appointment with her pediatrician and see where to go from there.
You might also get something out of joining the family forum, since you’re also a caregiver of someone who may have a psychotic disorder. It can be found at