My counsellor and the CIA

So maybe the 2nd time I talked to her, she told me her dad had been in the CIA and was part of Air Amerika in Vietnam. Wouldn’t that be something not to mention?

So as the world turns and paranoia had been drinking Red Bull, it was bothersome.

I had been hiding in the electrical room, maintenance shop, anywhere to avoid people last month and January

Walking outside the hotel to get to stairwell, a gentleman stops me and asks if he can get to the beach from our property, we talk and I can’t escape

He told me he served in Vietnam with Air Amerika and the Phoenix project, he was born in Michigan and so was I, he grew up in Kentucky as did I for a time, he was in the army and airborne as was I, he had a cane and I jokingly asked if he had a sword in there and he pulls out this long dagger but also explained it was where he hid his cigars…

This encounter rattled me so much that I had to call my wife to come to the hotel because it was so upsetting

Now I think he may have been an angel because he made this comment,
It’s always good to meet a brother isn’t it?

There were too many coincidences, too many things lined up and the train of thoughts moves quickly

As for the counselor, her dad is dead, but I not sure what game she is playing, it’s not chess, she’s nice enough but maybe she learned that trick from her dad

I met the head of the CIA once while in a state hospital in Kentucky, he was old and had white hair and a beard, nice guy

I tried fo the army once, I had my first psychosis at Fort Benning during BCT (I was also diagnosed by a military psychotherapist)

The first time I ended up in the hospital after I left (just after my long time GF died from a heart condition) I had received no visitors in the first four weeks. Suddenly a nurse comes to me and says my NCO is there to see me. It was my head Drill Sergeant, Staff Sergeant Saladin. He had heard about my hospitalization from a fellow recruit who followed me on Facebook. He took a week off and came to check on me. It was really nice.

He was actually really upset hen I had my break down, because I had shown extreme promise, I had the highest scores in my platoon and the third highest in my company. I had also been approved for Ranger School, because my leader skills were ‘exemplary’. Then I had my psychosis and it all went down the drain.

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I was in the psych ward at fort Bragg, my co and xo covered it up and no one knew about it except one person in my platoon, they actually let me reenlist for two more years, the worst happened after the army for me

My psychosis was full of synchronicity too. Those coincidences don’t bother you when you are well.

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I was convinced the man had been sent by my counselor, it still bothers me but I haven’t seen him again, that’s why I think he may have been an angel, I just haven’t figured out why that entire conversation took place

@Dremulf
Did you talk to the military therapist? Were they helpful?

My experience wasn’t so good, I had to attend aa meetings for a time and a counselor for three months I think, but I hated the guy because he didn’t care and neither did I, every session I would go in there and not say one word, it was surreal

@cactustomato
They bother me, but I am taking med now, I thought that was supposed to help, it may be the job is too much, but last year there wasn’t this problem here

I thought the CIA having customers written on there page was a sychronicity. I get obsessed with the CIA too. Try having a dad who works for the government under a top secret government clearance like I have.

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@cactustomato
Wow, that must be difficult, ever watch True Lies? That had some humor along with the violence, do you get to talk to your dad?

i wasn’t a big fan of the therapist but i only had to see him to get a diagnosis. I freaked out and punched a wall and busted my hand, and after that a drill sergeant from another company asked me if it felt good and i said “Almost as good as punching a Drill Sergeant, Drill Sergeant!”

They really got on my case to the point i lost it and almost ended up attacking the company CO but one of my fellow trainees tackled me to the ground and said id been hearing voices for a while. He kept my secret for two weeks before that happened.

I did not get in any trouble, the CO has a nephew with SZ and was very understanding about how it can be. They put me on meds, and a month later i was home.

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No we don’t talk. We don’t like each other.

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@cactustomato
We always called our dad the sperm donor because he left when I was two

I wouldn’t concern myself too much with guys who have stories of having been in the CIA. Most of them are just making up some kind of fantasy they want to live in. I’ve talked to a lot of guys on the street who said they were ex-navy seals. There is this retired navy seal who spends his time exposing these guys. The number who do it is incredible. If you believe every guy in the mental health system who claims he works for the CIA you’ll become as unbalanced as they are.

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@cactustomato
I have watched videos on YouTube where stolen valor is exposed…

The guy in the hospital claiming to be head of CIA, he was nice but I knew he wasn’t part of the CIA,

The guy at the hotel, I believed him tho…,

@Dremulf
Sorry things worked out that way, it may have been better that way, if you were deployed and were seriously injured or killed, but that’s a what if.

Were you able to get service related disability since you were in basic and active?

I had fears of Scientology and when I went into the hospital a guy had an eight pointed cross tattooed on his arm.

It’s amazing how our minds can connect dots. I’m convinced people who get sz have high iqs. The sad part is you allegedly lose iq points every time your in psychosis.

As far as that guy, I believe he was an angel too. I know I have been protected and guided in my journey with SZ.

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@Tyme
I always just thought everyone saw things that way, I have watched movies similar to everything being connected

What sux is if we lose iq points in psychosis, we get brain shrinkage from antipsychotic med, if I read correctly

Yes, I was connecting amazing dots even before the initial psychosis. My spiritual game was on point. You can lead an amazing spiritual life by connecting those dots. I try not to go overboard – i’ve never done it, but I don’t want to think I am a Prophet or Jesus.

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I didn’t know about brain shrinkage. I’m going to have to look into this more.