Most say ''i'm fine' when asked how they are


#1

#2

Yes cos it’s boring to explain


#3

I think it’s more than that


#4

I do this with mental health staff. I’ll say vague things like “I’m so so” or “not too bad” or a quickly dismissive “I’m fine”.
The reason? Being abusively described as “awkward,demanding and troublesome” in the past for seeking more help and support. I don’t fancy further abuse so very much keep things to myself.

I guess if I’d had mental health staff that were better behaved and more civilised I’d have opened up more.


#5

I’m sorry that happend to you. I remember I went to see therapist after I’d been really really upset and had cried so much I looked like rocky. She came and got me from waiting room, we walked to her office, and she said, “I’m sorry but our staff is now going from 1 hour long appointments to 45 and I have to cancel some sessions since we are taking on more sessions per day. “. I said okie in a quiet voice because I felt as if she was a robot, and she said “good, now how’s your week been”…I said,”look at me, how do you think I am”…she looked at me and said “oh, so you’ve had a difficult week”…ffs I felt so like I was a credit card. Did I say something to her…hmm…I think you guys know me :upside_down_face:.


#6

I say fine just to avoid having to talk to people.

No one really cares how u are anyway


#7

I’m the type to not answer and just give a look if I’m not doing well until I have a private moment to say how I really am.


#8

Cmon why be passive aggressive. We have riights, too? Cmon life isn’t a game! Speak up if you need help! :hugs:


#9

I usually just say “I’m fine”, and deflect with a “how are you?”
Sometimes I throw in a joke about being tired to ease the tension.

If someone asks because they already know I’m not fine, I’ll tell them the truth, but people have a habit of asking when you run into them on the streets or greet them, and that feels forced and dishonest to me.
Why ask when you clearly just want an “I’m fine, how are you?”?


#10

I meant if healthcare providers. I don’t act like a drama queen in social situations


#11

It’s not adaptive to be happy…


#12

I never discuss my mental health outside of my family or this board. No one knows. My other health problems aren’t a secret though. For those who know, ask, and genuinely wonder, I tell the truth- “My back is really hurting me;” “I’ve had a lot of migraines;” “Feeling great!”- that sort of thing. Otherwise, I say I’m doing well.


#13

If you deny you’re ill and have problems you’re seen as lacking insight. If you realise you have problems and seek help and support you get the kind of abusive and pig ignorant ■■■■ that I got. Then you are likely to be blamed and looked down upon for not making enough of a recovery, when the truth is you’ve not had the help and support to do so.

In those circumstances you can only do the best you can do and quite frankly fuck what any dishonest,low intelligence mental health worker wants to think. Such types should be banned from working in mental health.


#14

i was doing well and i was at college, my ex gf was around a lot so i cut the support and discharged my cpn, i was starting to think it was a bit like baby sitting for me, i didnt need them anymore bc i could handle my affairs myself,

i’ve not had the best rapour with them since then just psychiatric appointments where i tell him a bit of what i’ve been doing or achieved, i told him the bad points too but who cares about that :confused: lol


#15

growing up i kept everything to myself and people did ask what was wrong but i couldnt tell them bc i thought i could deal with it myself, but i couldn’t
i said i was ok a lot when i was not, its called suffering in silence i think.


#16

In Oz it is expected that you tough it out. Nobody really cares when they ask you how you are. They expect you to say “good” and then reciprocate the question. The awkward and stunned looks on their faces when you don’t follow that script makes it unbearable. So lying is always preferable.


#17

people need to be encouraged to talk about their feelings more, it can take a weight off i think


#18

I am fine. My cat’s not fine, but I am.

:frowning:


#19

Asking “How are you, Today” is also helpful. I got that from Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook fame. She wrote in a book recently about what got her to open up after losing her husband to heart attack. The title spoke to me but I didn’t read the whole thing.


#20

Oh no, what’s wrong with your cat?