Mental illness and addiction prod by broke boi

Creativity
1

Check it out

Any ideas for improvement

Or compliments or anything

2 Likes
2

Welcome back @Jonnybegood

1 Like
3

I’m just gonna make this my thread for all my songs

Here’s my other song since I got out the hospital

4

Thanks you @Aziz

1 Like
5

@Jonnybegood

I just listened to the first song. Your freestyle is really good, but you need a hook/chorus.

My suggestion for a hook (you sing this with a melody):

This is my mental illness, my addiction
Not my crucifixion
Never been the fastest learner
Somebody throw me a life preserver

Just my 2 cents

2 Likes
6

You are right I do need a chorus to split up the verse it’s too long. Hold on

I’ll be back thanks for your insight a lot!

1 Like
7

Re did quite a bit

Thanks to @anon16583342 suggestion

1 Like
8

I like it. @Tupac

I like that you repeated “this is my mental illness, my addiction” more often than in the first rendition. I really liked that you changed your pitch several times (not monotone).

:+1:

1 Like
9

I just finished my new favorite

This one more chill the last two were pretty high octane. Peace

1 Like
10

One more for tonight

I deleted the first one in this thread. But the other 3 nice

1 Like
11

Hey I like it man! I think a catchy hook will leave people wanting for more. Nice energy :+1:

2 Likes
12

I think it’s awesome. Hope your having a wonderful day.

1 Like
13

Thank you :blush: I’ve improved on each of the three songs I’ve posted. Even this morning I was still making changes. I’m quick to post em but not quick to finalize. But now the 3 songs are good imo. It takes practice to get good at stuff and I am passionate

Here’s all my songs organized together into an album I wrote exclusively in the hospital

14

Thank you abise!!!

15

This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.