Memory of solipsism

Unusual Beliefs
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I tried to write a “poem” but it’s just words. I had what I’d called a moment of metaphysical solipsism and like many psychotic symptoms it affected me. Just writing for record and release (excuse the bad writing):

Standing in my room I slip without body into a white field. A face from life momentarily flickers like a colorful blurry mirage. Recognizing the real present only burns the white into my eyes. There is only me: this. I am all there is. “Thaaaaat’s right” a deep malicious voice chuckles at my realization, stunning like black ink on the light. In retrospect, “row, row, row your boat” seems pithy and deeply funny: life is but a dream.

I am successfully treated for paranoid schizophrenia and this happened momentarily as I was in my room. I don’t know really how to process it. I have no symptoms any more (for now). A friend said it was called solipsism and I did a little research and apparently it’s a philosophical stance, but I only see it as a psychotic symptom I can sometimes slip into if I’m sensitive. Has anyone else has this experience of realizing your life and everyone you know and have experienced is just a figment of your imagination, and all there really is is white light?

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I have the idea that all I know could be fake. Like how do I know if what I know is real? How do I know what really is real?

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I think the basic reality you are used to and born into is the real reality. The rest is just confusion. I hope this helps

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I have the feeling that I live in a fake, staged reality. Not like an illusion or imagination but like a whole bunch of real, earthly people decided to stage a fake reality and make me the star of it unbeknownst to me (until 2 years ago).

There is a ‘real’ reality on this earth out there somewhere. I am just not allowed to see it.