Another thread on here about being shot up with schizophrenia, reminded me of a memory I have that is probably false. This memory feels real, but logic now tells me there is no way it could have happened. Does anybody else have these memories like this? They feel like real memories, but there is no possible way they could be real and you realize that now.
Everyday I have memories like this. False memories.
That sounds crazy as hell to have to deal with. Some of my memories get rewritten to be compatible with my schizophrenic scenario but I watch happen. It happens to memories of times before I entered this schizophrenic episode which makes it seem like the symptoms were there the whole time. In any case I try not to think about the past too much and focus on the future. It would be really confusing for me to have entirely false memories.
I have huge tangles of false memories that spatter through my life and make me sound out of it when I try to relay my life story…
I have one tattoo that I can NOT for the life of me remember how I got… but there it is, on my shoulder and I used to tell people I got it during a family trip to Spain. I’ve never been to Spain, but my mind thinks I was.
The one that gets me and makes me question everything is… “the good day that never happened”.
I have this one day in my head that my slightly younger brother came over to make amends… During this day… we hung out, talked, had a good conversations… I could smell his cigarette smoke and see him as plain as anyone…
But it was all sneaky brained thinking. He was out of town on business that day. But if my head can play that rough… It makes me wonder what else didn’t happen in my life.
It is highly embarrassing for me when I end up remembering something from one of my delusions… it either triggers it all over again… or I just cringe because I hate thinking I was that convinced over something that is physically not possible.
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