Here is a place to share your experiences with Schizophrenia - or anything else inbetween
I will start with a story;
In 2004 when I was 17, I was diagnosed with Drug-Induced psychosis. It was a real scary time, as I had been put in a forensic ward a couple of times, as I was so out of my mind I needed to be contained
After this episode, I remained on meds until I was about 19, and I even got to a place where I forgot all about my interaction with mental health services
Then a few years later I decided to go to College, and I was stupid enough not to realise that this ‘access course’ would put me on a track to study at University (I failed High School)
Unfortunately, my battle with stress and relapsing started here. In my second year I was still pretty much without friends, and just focusing on my studies.
My subjects were history and sociology, but I found the classical sociological theory the most interesting, and I’d spend hours reading in the library - outside of class requirements.
When I got to a certain point, I started to experience severe psychosis. Peoples faces turned to shadow, I had people trying to murder me, my thoughts were being broadcasted, my dreams and nightmares were becoming a reality and I fell down the rabbit hole.
I had a brief contact with mental health services, as I scared the living crap out of an on campus support worker who called them in. I moved to campus out of my parents home, as I thought they were plotting to kill me.
After a few months I got a bit better with the help of some meds, but then I moved back home and lost contact with mental health services in the nearby city
I realised somehow that if I did not finish my 2 theses, then I would have wasted so much effort and work. After this realisation I took out all the books I needed, and I sat in the kitchen for about 2 months writing my papers.
Soon after @ 25 years of age, I managed to graduate with a 3.70 GPA, and my parents were proud. However soon after I stopped the meds, and things went down hill quickly…
Sorry this is all I will type for now. I will add to the rest of it later (Just woke up)
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For me things started when I was 27.
My first experience was I remember thinking there were cameras in my office watching me and people at work conspiring against me. I even wrote an email about this to someone.
Over the next 2.5 years I slowly got worse to the point I thought my dead grandfather was talking to me in morse code through the squeaky fan in my room, or that the company I worked for was putting sedating drugs in the air-conditioning at work. I hallucinated people laughing at me on the radio and heard animal noises over the phone.
I was finally diagnosed in mid 2009, at which point I was at the end of my tether and having self harm thoughts. The pdoc at the crisis centre gave me some aps.
For the next five years I was a bit out of it, the ap sedated me and treated my sz, but I found it hard to think clearly and I slept 10 hours a day and found it hard to wake up. I worked full time though, just not well. After my GP worked out it was bad for my metabolism, I was asked to switch meds. I’ve tried three more in the last seven years and settled on one that doesn’t have many side effects. I can think clearly, although not for great lengths. However I find it hard to work now and I get stressed easily, which exacerbates my symptoms.
My effort now is spent trying to live a healthy lifestyle as it reduces my symptoms and increases my time at work. This is easier said than done though.
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After graduating, I ended up going downhill very quickly without anything to occupy my mind, as I had just worked and studied more than full time for 4 years.
I broke down and ended up being found on the streets and being taken in by a taxi driver who took me to the emergency room
They performed all sorts of tests on me there to ensure it wasn’t a physical illness (I was told after…) I was so completely out of my mind I had to be put in seclusion and restrained as I was going nuts.
After this, I was sent to the mental hospital. What I found there was a place to be safe, and in fact this was my best ever time in hospital, as there was a real sense of community amongst the fellow patients
In particular I got on with these two South African guys who were in there. One thought I was some sort of messiah, and the other was absolutely crazy - the three of us supported each other
Then after 3 weeks, I asked the doctors why I was there, and I was taken aside and told I had Paranoid Schizophrenia… I was really happy I got an answer. However, as everyone does with something they don’t know about, I Googled it, and found out to my distaste what my prognosis was going to be
I lost my mind again in a rage, and was restrained several times and given a shot to calm me down
After a few weeks I told them I did not want to be there anymore, as I was starting to respond to Olanzapine treatment, and my psychosis was calming.
At this point, the Nurse had got me to pay off my student loan debt with my savings to be eligible for benefits, I could not go home as I was still paranoid that my parents were going to kill me. The only person who stepped up was my step-sister…
She gave me a mattress in her loft, and I stayed there for 6 months whilst the benefits and housing was getting sorted…
Sorry this is all I will type for now. I will add to the rest of it later (Just woke up)
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