It seems no matter what I do for anyone I am always the bad guy in the end. I guess I’m just a lying, manipulative, toxic, hypocrite.
2 Likes
I would start by challenging your self-esteem. Everyones got good qualities about them.
And its always good to be aware of any potential toxic relationships you may have got yourself into.
Look after number one. Cos no one else is gonna do that for you.
2 Likes
Thank you. I like to think I have high self esteem in some areas but in others it’s pretty horrible.
2 Likes
I know what you’re saying. If I ever take up for myself I’m being bad. The world wants to keep me down.
2 Likes
Maybe that’s just the disease talking?
1 Like
Exactly how I feel. I’m always being taken advantage of because of my generosity and kindness. Then when I’ve finally had enough and stand up for myself I’m suddenly the worst person I’m existence. It’s honestly exhausting. @everhopeful you could be right. It’s possible that it’s just the disease talking
2 Likes
Maybe you are clearing toxic people, this is a process that can take years… feels like ego purging. First it is really dark and then people resist you changing vehemently. If you continue they can become angry and resisting, but keep at it. I had a purge as well, took almost all my energy but glad it happened. Some people are extremely toxic and it is probably not you but others that you internalized.
1 Like
dont have negative feelings towards yourself. if the people around you make you feel this way, hit the road. i left my parents’ house and it was the best thing i could do. me and my parents, we dont have good chemistry. by a rule of thumb if something is not good in your life either change it or get away from it. if it cant be changed, walk away.
1 Like
That’s definitely what I’m doing. I cut off a lot of people I cared about and thought cared about me. But I hit the point where I saw through it and couldn’t take it anymore. I guess doing it so quickly has gotten people against me. Usually I don’t care what others think but when you think someone cares about you and you care about it’s hard for me to not care what they say. I suppose it’s all just a process
I left my parents house in August 2020 for this exact reason. Now I have to wait until 5/2 for my ex to move out and I’ll finally have my space and freedom back
2 Likes
my parents care about me. but being close to each other does not work. initially i reacted like externating my feelings but that dont work. people dont change to fit you. you must search and find a place you will feel better. i learned this much: you must get away from what is not good for you.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.