They call it “gaslighting”. It is where someone is doing things that affect you powerfully, but they won’t admit they’re doing it. It is very easy to do over the internet. I get so enraged by it.
I really struggle with this. I need to keep my temper.
I have it at home. Maybe I should just let them have their way. They are so angry angry a lot of the time, its
like I don’t know them. But anger is infectious, and so perhaps I appear the same to them. I try to consult on what to do, but sometimes I don’t know what path to take, especially in these situations.
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This is especially true of young people. Once they decide that you are immoral and out of line, if those are the right terms, once they decide you are a geek, they throw out about two thirds of the book of morals in how they treat you. I dished some of that treatment out when I was in elementary school. Now I realize how bad it must have felt for the people on the receiving end.
I know. I remember so many times. Embarrassing ( and angry at myself). So easy to do. Hard to see goings forwards. I guess I will try to reign in my own behaviour, even if people think I have become a laughing stock. In my thoughts, people’s laughter at me also comes with a firery conclusion that I can’t avoid. Sometimes I wonder how many people are laughing as they light the fires. It’s all alien to me sometimes.
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But, need to be positive.even if I am the last person in the universe.
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