Lost touch with the idea of my parents being my parents

Whether it was pretending they weren’t my parents or believing it. Or believing my father was god …I very much lost touch with my parents being my parents for a whole decade. Now I’m regaining that. People have wondered if I was adopted. Anyone else lose touch with family notions/instincts or whatever

yeah,i had it with the whole family in a time… i was thinking that my mom is ugly etc etc… i should feel ashamed probably. i still doesnt suffer for my father though, its a hard story,yes… i feel like handicapted for a part of me because my father was abusive… but he was probably ill also :confused: like you say,its the instincts that are lost kind of…
keeo going, me ill try to do the same thing :slight_smile:

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When my parents visited me one time I had a hard time telling if they were even my parents something seemed off about them.

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Yes I did, and I do regret it.

Its a long and complicated story. One could argue I was under a lot of stress and driven to wrong ideas about them, but I know that I lost that instinct sadly.

I learned that you should be discriminate to who and what you let into your life. Be very selective.

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Do you know why??? I also felt this way, even to questioning wether they were family(capras delusion)

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I’ve had that delusion. I’ve thought my parents were robots, or false parents (actors), or I was Jesus so I was their parents, instead of vice-versa. Or I just had a fantasy world where I had different mom and no dad. I’ve had many delusions that hurt my relationship with my parents. But recovering, now we have a much better relationship.

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wow. It sounds so much like me, different dad delusion, then both were different for a short while. I hope I can recover too, but my mom is dead :cry:

They used to believe SZ was caused by bad parenting but they know now that’s not true.

Not saying all parents are perfect though. There must have been some bad parenting for us to want to shun our parents out of our lives. But its good to regain that relationship. My parents have improved their parenting skills a lot the last couple years.

Sorry about your mother that sucks.

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I don’t really want a “parental” figure at this point anymore. At what point does the social totem poll/hierarchy end?

I should be higher up the hierarchy for what I have managed to do in my life. I shouldn’t have to answer to a parent, especially one that birthed me via fornication, not a legit marriage… and a father that never even met me until I was 14, and afterward never contacted me again.

My mother doesn’t even know who I am. She’s lost in her own delusions of love and secularism.

I legit feel that when I depart from this world, I’m never going to see anyone from my family ever again. When my mother finally moves back to New Hampshire, I am seriously not even going to contact anyone from my family ever again. If they need something, they can contact me - and I’m guessing years or decades will pass before that happens.

I believe my son feels the same way with me.
He always calls me by name instead of mom. He talks about his dad as " your ex-husband ".
Sometimes I think he is going through some baggage like everyone does, or he is mad at me for having to put him in the hospital so many times.
Right now, he does not want me in his life.

The more delusional he gets, the more he wants me out.

I never really head some relationship with my father, as he was either emotionally negative or emotionally absent, and I lost a touch with my mom over the years, gradually as I did things that she considered as a wrong moves and as she turned from a mid class cuttie to a provincial preacher.

I have a good relationship with my parents now…

But there was some times in hospital where I thought they were others… just others who came to keep me in hospital…

The people didn’t look like my parents… didn’t sound like my parents… I had no idea why these strangers were working so hard to keep me in a hospital I hated. It was most likely anger triggered.

I don’t know why really they just felt different, something felt off. I think it was more on my perception of viewing them. I mean we don’t have a bad relationship compared to other families but sometimes I feel this disconnect between me and them. I think its partially that they are important in my life but can’t grasp what is going on with me and don’t know what to do.

I know what you mean, I lost touch because of delusions and the thought of that is more painful than isolation. But hopefully I can help myself and give my father peace of mind with the thought that his son is doing well and making something of himself in this world.

i lost touch with my parents due to my in laws and my partner. my mom called me mentally incompetent and said i should be locked up in a mental hospital. i miss my parents but when i sent them a message on facebook they didn’t answer me.

My dad pretends I don’t exist, he hasn’t said a word to me in like a month

Brown, N.: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd. Ed., Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.

Gibson, L.: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2015

Golomb, E.: Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self, New York: William Morrow, 1992.

Payson, E.: The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with One-Way Relationships in Work, Love and Family, Royal Oak, MI: Julian Day, 2002.

cc: @turningthepage @Kenforce @Sarad @MisterWaffles @SurprisedJ @Kazuma

I used to have thoughts that my father might not be my father. I never voiced those thoughts though.

i thought my parents were CIA that cared more about the CIA than their son.