This happens regularly and used to really make me lose it. I’m a guy and I like to have a tight grip on myself but when I don’t feel the need I like to let loose a bit.
If I let myself relax while playing a game or watching a movie I keep a close eye on my mind and the energy around me.
Today I was very happy and relaxed . I began to play a game online with my buddy.
I was very focused on the game but I noticed part of me energetically or spirtually was being guided right very very sneakily. I pulled myself together slightly and continued to play and it started happening more viciously and faster. I got a very sick gut feeling like this energy was belong pulled out of my gut and right side of body.
I put my focus on it and instantly got this disgusted feeling and these nasty words being shoved at me while there was this weird spirtual, seductive (but unwanted) slow motion feeling going on. I felt very violated by this and started hearing voices call me gay and queer (bare in mind I’m pretty manly and rough around the edges) so this added to my distaste in what was going on mixed with this strange lofty intangible atmosphere that crept up on me. I was the very furthest thing from being turned on in a sexual way.
I believe that anything that directly effects me is my business and I felt as if I was being used in some strange way at the expense of my physical and mental health but I was being attacked and blamed and called names for actions and energies that I wasn’t even involved with.
Very sick feeling. Any advice. I never come out of these occurrences feeling very positive about my future and it makes me feel as if others are looking at this stuff and thinking I’m willingly allowing this to happen .
I hope the experience did not scare your buddy off. There are no easy answers, I think, to your experience. My explanation is that a spirit (good or bad) does this to us. My spirit is mostly good to me.
I should not be pushing my theories about a spirit on you. I know it sounds crazy that a spirit controls me. I suppose it could be my delusion. I feel like you might be right, that this theory of mine is outlandish or “perverted,” and I should reconsider it.
I was trying to say I don’t know why you have this experience all of a sudden when you had been feeling well.
I was talking about my personal experience not yours about the perversion.
I’m not really mislead and stick to my guns. You are free to discuss any opinion and experience and belief as you want with out fear of me being delusions or mislead.
Before I came out as bisexual, I used to get paranoid delusions about people thinking I was gay and attracted to women. After I accepted that I was attracted to women and fell into that kind of life, the paranoid delusions about being a lesbian went away.
Im not sure if this relates but my voices use to give me tactile hallucination on the private areas of my body. pretty much sexually harass me verbally and physically and it sounded like a male. I guess in certain cases the illness it self can mess with you in ways that it figures would bother you. You dont necessarily have to have any homosexual tendencies but it knows your a straight male and non straight slurs and acts will bother you. It just trying to get your attention. Did you have audioble voices or were those slurrs just thoughts in your head?