Looking for advice

Lounge
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I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. It’s like I’m choosing between my daughters and my mom.I can move to Arizona be near my kids or stay in Michigan live with mom.

Opt 1: be near daughters, have no mental health support from family, leave my mom who will struggle without my ssdi, be financially strained myself m, have to work atleast part time, my mom says I’m leaving her high and dry

Opt 2: live with mom in mi, be suicidal and depressed, be more comfortable financially, be away from daughters

I don’t know what to do. Please give me advice.

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The grass is always greener on the other side. What makes you think you won’t be depressed when you move ?

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That’s exactly what I was just thinking about. I can say the weather and being around my girls is better.

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How stable are you? A move is a big big change, and do you have a mental health team when you move? Kids are great, but if you’re not ok, umm, I …

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My only child lives in Arizona. I live in Louisiana. We don’t see him very often but I bought a house in Louisiana so we are here to stay. He knows he is always welcome here but I think he likes it there.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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Does anyone else have advice?

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Probably easier for your children to travel and visit you, plus now we have skype and things to be close with family living elsewhere, financially I think you should stay with your mother, just my thoughts

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The grass you water is always greener. Make it nice with your mum ((you got one)… and let your daughters visit you on your expense as you are financially better of.

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Maybe if you planned your move in a couple of years, that would give your mom time to make her own plans to be taken care of by someone else.

Sounds harsh, but kids aren’t always anle to properly care for their parents, it’s just a fact that it’s difficult with Sz or without.

You have to decide what’s best for you, because if your not able to care for your mom, she would have to find someone else amyway.

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It’s not that I’m taking care of her. Just that she uses my ss towards bills.

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I think you should stay where you are and figure out a med adjustment :confused: The move sounds like massive stressor that would ultimately leave you worse off.

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Could you just stay with your daughters for a month or two to see how things work out without actually moving?

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I wouldn’t actually live with my daughters. They’re 6 and 7z I’m thinking about getting an apartment.

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What part of Arizona would you be moving to? I lived in Phoenix and absolutely hated it
I wouldn’t recommend the Phoenix or Tucson areas.

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It’s hard to give advice for your situation. Do what feels best for yourself deep down in your heart/mind.

good luck! :slight_smile:

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My mom turned off my debit card which means she plans on stealing my social security every month. I’m definitely moving now. She is dead to me.

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I told her I was going to let her keep this months. Then 200 out of every check for phone. I’m not doing that now.

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I feel awful. She called the bank and proved she didn’t cancel it. I hurt her feelings a lot by jumping to conclusions.

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I would do everything I could to get mentally healthy first. I wouldn’t decide now. Work with a therapist, your psychiatrist, even things like group therapy, an art class or exercise class etc to get in a better place emotionally and mentally and then decide. You won’t be of any real use to your daughters if you’re suicidal or depressed and are worrying them and causing them to be your caregivers.

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Oh my I agree with @LilyoftheValley you need to work on yourself and hope your mom forgives you. The way you speak of your mom isn’t the best either. She provides a home and love for you. She might need your assistance but how in the world could she steal your disability. I think your impulses are too heightened right now and need help. Best of luck and don’t mean to sound negative but please get help for yourself and stable before jumping into anything :hugs:

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