Anybody else feel like their best days are behind them? I peaked at 18, and maybe it was part of growing up, but ever since then it has been a steep decline from light into darkness. I got diagnosed with SZ at 19 and I feel like only recently have things not been a waking nightmare. The only reason it isn’t a waking nightmare anymore is that I have kind of just accepted the fact that there is no escape from this place, it will never make sense, and I am safe and taken care of anyway. I just feel like the highs are behind me, especially with all the medication I’m on. Everything from here on out seems like it’s just going to go downhill. I don’t know what I am supposed to look forward to… Anybody else feel this way?
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I don’t know. The younger you are the more you equate happiness with excitement.
The older you get the more you equate happiness with peace and quiet.
Maybe you’re just in between the two at the moment.
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Life doesn’t have to be thrilling. Even if it is, it’s only going to be thrilling at times, not all the time. Life goes on period. If you want to continue that sentence there are too many variations to count: after thrill is gone, if you are disabled, if you fail, if you’re sick, if you win, if you’re happy, if you’re sad… a million things can happen and it goes on.
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@crazydiamond444 I have read all your post and I don’ know what to honestly reply. I know for me I have been low and I have steadily improved. Things are better for me now. I think you should give it time for yourself to heal,
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for sure. I normally go to this sunday techno party and I’m just burnt out on partying. I’m about to move to a rural area around Mississippi pretty soon so I will definitely be getting peace and quiet and probably a lot of time out in nature. My youth pre-sz was wild and I was always high, it just seems like everything since has been low in comparison. I don’t know how else to explain it. If I had never touched drugs my life would be a lot different. Completely different. I might have not even gotten SZ, but I can’t look back. gotta move forward, hopefully things will get better
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I had some good years and expect to have more. Ups and downs is how life goes.
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Nope. I’m having a lot of fun right now.
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I’m 39 and will turn 40 in the beginning of next year. I don’t care that much that I missed out on most things in life. It’s just that I would like to date someone, someone I like. I think women are very beautiful. I just want to feel emotionally connected to someone. Feel intimacy and perhaps love. I don’t mind that I’m at this age. I think women are the most attractive between 30-45. But most women at this age are already married or in a relationship. Then we have the divorced ones and I don’t want to date someone who already has children. I’m not ready to be a parent. I think I would suck as a parent. I know I’m no good with children.
Then we have the whole sz thing. I think most people (and I don’t judge them) don’t want to date someone with sz.
I’ve had better and worse days. I don’t know. I’m improving. I’ve now got a hobby that I am totally addicted too. Whenever I’m browsing the forum, I checked a few topics, look for notifications, then practice some more. Rinse and repeat. It’s keeping me busy.
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I didn’t start living properly till I got on meds at 29. It’s amazing what you can do without bad paranoia.
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Most days I feel like im just getting started again with enjoying life. My psychosis is minimal and seldom , my moods are bit wacky still but pulling along.
Lifes a long road. Best to find some good in it along the way 
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