Schizophrenia.com

Learning to spare people's feelings


#1

I had been told that you didn’t have to hurt someone physically to hurt them but I never understood that until I remembered a comment someone made to my father, It was “Some people shouldn’t have children.” I know that comment hurt him like we never recovered. We left home and I’m sure that’s the reason.


#2

I received the same comment when I was younger, coming from my…mom. I have a kid and I plan to have another one, irrespectively. For some reason or another, she refuses to see my son. It still hurts.

Anyway, think about it this way: you are the utmost proof that anyone who wishes should have children. Think of all the moments of happiness and fulfillment that happened in your life, multiply them by one million (cause you won’t remember the rest and you will have a lot more) and realise your father just had to think of you and not take that comment seriously.

If you are SZ, you probably had a lot of ulgy times. But you’ve also been a blessing to your father and close ones. I know that even if my son will have the worse SZ ever, I’ll still say it was worth it.


#3

A big part of the problem was that fact that the person who said it was my Dad’s best friend at the time.


#4

Heh, you might begin to wonder what made them drift apart after that…

I resented my Mom a lot for comments like this. WHenever I forgave her, she made more idiotic verbal abuses of my emotional vulnerability. I decided I would stopped talking to her altogether, or only talk about a limited amount of subjects. She still finds her way to abuse my emotions. So I totally understand why your father would have decided to move away if he received this kind of comments.

At some point people should stop being unaware of the damage they do. Only they don’t.

I’m thinking if maybe I did the same thing with others. I hope I didn’t, though. I can only hope I didn’t.


#5

Hurting someone’s feelings gives people a sense of power that they feel they lack, similar to getting into a physical fight.