I am getting better at this.
Some people make it easy for me not to care
I know what I am: I know what my limitations indeed are and what my limitations indeed are NOT.
I deserve better.
Than being told ■■■■.
Ignorance can remain ‘bliss’ for those who want to be like that.
Like I said I am not perfect but I know what I am not.
End of rant.
Thanks for listening 
So, from what claims have been made, yes I can come across as draining in certain circumnstances, like for instance when I’m really anxious, but no, I am not draining in all circumstances. And BTW, it is something I’m working my butt off to improve, for the sake of more meaningful relationships with nice people. And no, I do not worship death.
Just some examples from the past. In my life.
Are you doing okay, tonight? 
I don’t know GrayBear. Some people are so mean to me it is insane.
It really wears me down
I mean I’ve been told I’m insanely jealous aswell, like it is the worst thing in the world.
Regarding that,
I’m not bitter about people who have seemingly better situations than me anyways.
And fearing being used and alone is that not normal? So you would take preventative measures is that not normal? Especially if you’ve had bad life experiences of this. Especially if you are going through a period when you feel weak. It is like people expect me to not be human.
I just feel so exhausted.
But thanks for asking GrayBear
Maybe I am insanely jealous (excluding the bitterness)
And maybe it is not good.
But when I am weak it is natural to fear so no one can tell me to just stop that in those circumstances.
When I am strong I won’t be jealous.
As I would conquer my fear.
Hopefully I will become strong one day.
In terms of self esteem.
This is truly how I feel.
I hope I didn’t make any false accusations. I don’t feel like I did. Unless perhaps my understanding of a word I’ve used is incorrect. In that case I can only apologise.
Blaaaaaaa.
Bleeeeeeeeee.
Blaaaaaaaaaaa.
Nope I don’t believe this is false. Just had to double check the definition of the word mean.
Anyways perhaps I can learn to be not jealous (in terms of fear part since I do not get bitter of people in seemingly better situations than me,) at an earlier time, ie whilst I am weak.
Because I have hope.
I use to be jealous of a classmate in high school it wasn’t a good feeling now I just feel we all end up in the same place anyways (dead)
Yea it’s good to live life fully. We all are going to die one day.
Also I’ve really learned to appreciate what I have it makes a difference
Just to neutralise this thread.
I really do appreciate this forum. I do learn and it is good to learn.
Just some things can be extremely challenging too, but hopefully nothing this samurai butterfly cannot handle somehow in the end.
Yea it is easy to forget that sometimes.
Yeah it’s important to do you. Do that well and everything else falls into place. That doesn’t mean you have to be anything other than yourself and you soon learn that those people who expect more out of you aren’t worth spending time upon…
That is the only hard thing. Melding with others socially and we are often our harshest critiques. Be kind to yourself and to others and your destined to do well.
Thanks Rogueone for reminding me that it is important to do me.
Looking at things from a positive open mind, I think people are doing their best at all times and that what may initially come across as cruel can be investigated and analysed to be seen in a way that has actually got truth. So I like to see the good in everything. Including what can initially come across as cruel.
Yeah hearing that. STill. I wasted a lot of time in my life dealing with people who did me wrong simply for being what they were…addicts especially. It’s great seeing the good in everyone and it really is but keep some to yourself and keep protected. … That isn’t anything more and to learn these lessons you need to branch out and live some life…You will be fine as I think you’ve a solid head on your shoulders!
But no I do not
worship
Death.
That is just purely stupid.
Because I do not adore misery. Lol. Wtf!
Unless I am missing the point. But if there is another point it is unclear.
I do however not suppress misery when I have it.
But it is not my goal.
Sounds just like something my ‘ex’ used to say who said I enjoy sickness. As if that is my goal in life. And he said That I don’t want to be healthy.
Everyone wants to be healthy.