I’ve heard of a few books by dale carnegie, or like the 48 laws of power, I even study a little bit of social philosophy but I still feel clueless in how to genuinely connect with people in social situations. Anyone know a good way to learn how to be more socially graceful? Even just the basics of socializing? Social philosophy? Idk, I feel like I kinda need to start from the beginning
Just go and mingle. Get past the fear of it, past all the rules telling you what to do and what not to do. Regardless of how wild and uncouth you are, you will make friends if you try.
Children make friends instinctively, that’s because they’re not brain-fricked by pop culture, giving them unrealistically high expectations of their social skills.
All you have to remember is to follow the laws of the land when interacting, and be present. Show interest in the other person, don’t just talk their ears off about yourself. It’s important to not have any expectations of the interaction, just go for small victories, like getting the person’s name, and talking for 5 minutes, along those lines. Build up with baby steps, but do try. Don’t just stay at home and postulate.
2 Likes
I think a big problem I have, particularly if I’m trying to talk to a woman at a bar or something, is eye contact. Just looking at a person will make me, and then the conversation seem very awkward. I guess I just need to practice the art of this?
The listening to the other person I agree is very important. I’m gonna try the small victories thing, I think that could work
1 Like
Ask the other person questions
the only way to get over this for me was basically puting myself in social situations, trying to deal with the stress, pressure of it,
1 Like
Edit could be seen as an inarticulate and misappropriate question.
I think it’s hard too, but I still socialize. I try to pep myself up so when I’m with others I can smile. I listen carefully and try to ask questions to show genuine interest. I don’t look around the room when you’re talking to someone. After a while you’ll be ready to go home or let them know you’re tired. That’ll be their cue to go home. It’s hard to do, but it’s worth it. People were designed to be in relationships with others. You can do this! Maybe not all the time. But you can start off once every other week or something and build up over time. You can do it!
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.