Been laying down on my bed for the past couple of hours, trying to sleep. But I’m just thinking about how I’m a really closed off person, wether its because I’m paranoid or just have a general dislike for close relationships, be it friends family or girlfriend. I been wishing for the longest, been wishing to be alone, but I find myself being bothered by the isolation and lack of emotional stimuli. It feels like a cycle; an ouroboros of immortal isolation, of constant torture. So the spiritual side says " be alone" but the human side, the one conditioned to live off of social interaction says the opposite.
Nahhh. Doesnt matter anyways. Just some thoughts I’d thought I’d share.