Schizophrenia.com

Knowing your psychotic

Do you always know you are becoming psychotic ie it’s a gradual process and you can take counter measures or does it hit hard and fast to the point you don’t realise you are becoming psychotic?

For me I usually enter a 2-4 day mania period, followed by cotard’s delusion followed by a 2-3 weeks of more intense psychosis. Repeat every 2 months. I know it’s coming but alas I fall victim every time.

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It seems that knowing something is happening and stopping it are two very different things.

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hey,

It’s a reason why it’s psychosis. It’s an insidious slide for me. I think other things than what is actually happening.

Being aware you need help usually is a hard thing. It worked for me because I trust doctors and meds and took whatever they gave me. Risperdull helped that no end but coming out of it …couldn’t tell where it began!

A friend in the struggle,

rogueone.

My health workers keep saying that insight is the best thing to have.

Well when I have episodes like I am now if can identify that some of the thoughts I have are similar to those in people with sz. But to be honest that is like 5% of my interior monologue- the remaining 95% is dedicated to these thoughts.

I have insight yet I still suffer terribly.

For me, it’s a gradual process, but I have no insight that it’s happening. I can spot the things that precede it - worsening depression and anxiety - and take countermeasures to improve those and prevent psychosis (in theory, anyway; I haven’t done this successfully yet) but I am never aware when I cross the line into psychosis.

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I can tell I’m becoming psychotic, but once I’m psychotic I completely lose insight.

Every once in a while I realize I have been acting out a delusion for a year or something.

It takes a long time get to the place where I don’t believe it. And even then I am sort of pretending.

At the time, my more symptomatic breaks seem to be happening in moments. Looking back I can see I was stressed, symptomatic, and anxious, but my brain does not register any change from reality to non-reality.

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This is exactly what it’s like for me. I also don’t register much of a change coming back from delusional thinking. It’s usually not until weeks or months or even years after the delusions have ended that I recognize them for what they were. My delusions usually quietly pack their bags and leave without saying anything as I get healthier.

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I usually get euphoric before I become psychotic. That feeling can become a temptation to get off my med’s.

I guess it depends on the day for me. At the start of last year, my self-awareness and awareness of minor changes in behavior suddenly were born and I’ve been confused as hell ever since. Sometimes people are suddenly telling me I need to go to the psych ward, other times I can tell my brain isn’t up to par.