This will probably be long and rambling and I may not have a good summary for it.
I’m trying to puzzle everything out. I’ve always sensed spirits and dealt with them-that’s a given. The nightmares I had as a young child…felt demonic in nature. Felt very Plague-esque. (The name I gave the demon that haunts me) However it was only ever present in nightmares and never when I was awake.
Then the incident with the ouija board happened…and I drew that human spirit to me…an incubus…incubi I am starting to think are a specific kind of malevolent human spirit that are obsessed with sex as a kind of way to connect with another person because they are deeply lost and alone as spirits and this is the only way they get freedom from that darkness. Succubi same deal just female human spirit. Are there demonic equivalents? I mean probably I just don’t think I’ve dealt with them.
Anyways so the ouija board draws that human incubus to me, I was being consistently abused, and then I had that one night where the demon showed up. I think it was the night where I had either fought off the incubus and fell asleep or it hadn’t come but anyhow I was woken up by 3 loud, distinct knocks on the wall. The lights began to flicker and I saw what looked like sparks in the corner of the room. A man in a bright red suit…didn’t see him physically but in my mind… I got a feeling of immense heat on me…was I abused then? It honestly all blurs together at this point but I remember from then on the demon would be there during the abuse and would watch. Just watch. Once it said something like “do you wish it was me inside you?” I’m not sure.
For the longest time that was it’s only interaction with me. And then I moved my senior year of highschool…abuse stops completely. Of course it’s because I left the spirit behind and to my knowledge human spirits generally don’t know how to travel around or are just bad at it I dunno. For a while things are super quiet…but that demon ends up showing up after a little while. And that’s the first time it attacked me and I experienced having its energy merged with mine.
I also have to keep in mind that at some point during the abuse, I ceased having the ability to feel Father and communicate with him. It started getting more and more difficult and then I was just cut off completely. When did that happen? Was it when the demon showed up? I know it started happening before I moved and by the time I moved I was totally cut off, no more Father. I wouldn’t regain my ability to speak with him again for years. I still cannot feel his energy which I mourn to this day.
Anyhow over the years the demon, Plague, would attack me more and more, attempting to lower my energy, make me a worse person, make me resentful towards the world and the people in it, towards God, make me want to leave God and reject him, etc. So I decided his purpose is to corrupt me. So how do I get rid of him? He can’t touch me. Demons can’t touch me I guess because of my relationship with God, is the message that one dream gave me. Whenever I come across a demon in my dreams they always try to get me to leave God, to lose my faith pretty much. Meanwhile the djinn definitely can hurt me or at least try, and human spirits I know all too well can hurt me.
And then there’s the matter of the more recent incubus I deal with. Again, a human spirit, I’m sure of it. Different than the first, which I later helped to move on, it was a whole experience. But anyways this incubus comes out of damn nowhere. I wasn’t doing anything occult-y this time. Nothing. Just all of a sudden BAM invisible sex partner, getting abused every day for like a week, felt so good I was completely hooked to my misfortune and then I go to the neighbors’ house to housesit and dogsit, it attacks me there once, which I was very surprised about as again human spirits suck at traveling, but I think the sheer willpower mixed with me not traveling very far helped it. Maybe the demons did too I dunno. Anyhow after that initial attack it never touches me again, I’m not attacked, no idea what happened to it, it’s just gone, the attacks stopped just as suddenly as the first incubus’ were.
Now there was another entity in that house, a strong one. I was so baffled by its demeanor I almost felt it was a deity, the name I gave the class of djinn that are very territorial and protective of their territory and its inhabitants. (They are often also worshipped as guardian deities by locals) But it was probably a human spirit, after all I have never met a djinn on this plane. Ever. And can think of no reason why they’d want to come here anyhow. But this entity was MAD I was there really mad its energy was just this huge weight of pressure and my first night there it flipping stood by my bed just glaring at me being like “you need to leave” (witnessed through dreaming) until I couldn’t take it anymore and had to go sleep downstairs. I think it was pissed about the incubus I brought with me, and a part of me wonders if the reason why the incubus went away is because that spirit basically spooked it off or did something, because only after the initial attack did I notice the present of the other spirit outside the room. Anyways I had a calm discussion with it about how I was just housesitting and I didn’t mean to intrude and I would be gone in a few days and I would be respectful to it if it was to me and just like that the entity leaves. Well, not move on left but it wasn’t standing outside the room in an angry huff anymore and all the pressure and tension was gone.
If it did send that incubus away then I’m thankful to that spirit that’s for sure. Wish it could’ve sent away Plague too…
Demons it turns out are a lot harder to get rid of long term than human spirits…I wish I knew what to do…