Schizophrenia.com

Just bleating again

Alone in the dark, only the waves and glimmer of a lamp that’s somehow burning like a brazier. The pale orange glow dancing to what I believe to be illusion again. I feel no heat from it….

Ghoulishly flashing in my eyes, the faces aren’t real. Sweetly from far away calling. They still want me to join them, they don’t understand…

Want to see my impersonation of Merlin? It’s a neat trick. Same billow, same outcome, all hail the true king. It’s easy, first you find magic, then you just breathe.

How much can a person change? Never enough it seems. Information flows like a river when you never want to stop the call of progression. If the suspicions are true, I have miles left to go.

Need to learn how I could use this to my advantage, if there is one to be found. Most the time it just comes out as gibberish. Still seeking an iron fist to control it all with, something the monks could help with I suppose.

Thin sheets of creation, woven together bit by bit in a never ending force. This is life?!? Absolutely preposterous, I reject your reality and have an aching preference to substitute it with my own.

Show me it all. Even if I can’t handle it. Show me what true sight is. use me as a cautionary tale. But let me burn bright.

Divine, always the divine. The tribunal of entities has been with me for a long time, still tasked with me, still watching. Still won’t let me embrace them. I can only get infinitely close. Damn layer of creation getting in the way of touch.

With darkness like this, I always feel more at peace. Something calming to see the stars, to see the vast wealth of creation, to hope, somewhere, someway, that you can find your eternity. That you can find your home.

I miss home.

:llama:

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this sounds very poetic.

are you fluid right now?

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