"Just an ego out of whack"

Unusual Beliefs
1

I used to have the chosen one delusion. I came across another person on another forum thinking they were “God” and someone responded something along the lines of

Well I’ve also thought I was in hell.

I’ve had the theory for a long time that schizophrenia is a confused ego. “An ego out of whack”. There’s no doubt I have schizophrenia because I’ve heard voices, internal dialogue, all sorts of delusions, but FOR ME (i don’t wanna speak for everybody), I had an ego out of whack which seemed to cause my schizophrenia.

When I was 12-15 I had my ego completely crushed. Forced into a fantasy world. Then when I started to grow up a little I grew more confidence and ego, and some chick told me I was “Perfect”…My ego was already way out of whack when I started using psychedelic drugs to crush my ego…and my friend called me on the phone and said “YOUR EGO” and it really got me thinking about the ego. It killed my ego,but it didn’t…it really just put it out of whack.

I’ve worked for years trying to understand the word ego and I feel at this point I’ve balanced it to a healthy medium…not narcissistic and not too vulnerable either.

Maybe that’s because I’m doing so well…I’ve put the pieces of the puzzle in the ego together. I’m not cured from schizophrenia, I still need meds, but when I saw this person say “The messiah complex is just an ego out of whack”…I understood my past a lot more.

Since I had both sides of the ego, possibly that’s why I alternated between thinking I was hell and the messiah.

I’m proud to say it’s been months since I’ve even thought for 2 seconds I was the chosen one…or destined to be famous…or some other delusion of grandiosity. And as a result I can live way more naturally and freely.

“An Ego out of whack”…Awesome

Thoughts?

if grandiosity is “an ego out of whack” and grandiosity can be a symptom of schizophrenia…can an ego out of whack be the cause of schizophrenia, or at least a trigger? Maybe genetics play a factor too, and environment, or it could just be the complexity of the mind when it’s out of whack.

Alright…Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, and I don’t want to confuse anybody, but I’ve been confused for so long. This kind of woke me up. Peace

2

its good to write these things down, sometimes we need to do that to make sense of things, poetry is good as well, i use to write poetry as another means of expressing myself.

3

Thanks daydreamer

I write a lot of poetry too. I used to be a lot better. I just recently found all my old poetry and it was way better than the new stuff…if only I had a better voice, I could turn it into music, because that’s how it was written to be.

4

I’ve wondered once if I was the anti-christ, but not for long. I’ve never had a messianic delusion, but I have thought I was an intellectual giant before. It takes a healthy ego to accomplish worthwhile things for some people. A lot of very accomplished people are jackasses to be around. Their ambition over rides their interpersonal skills.

5

Schizophrenia affects my ego I dont think my ego caused my Schizophrenia.

Other peoples egos trigger my Schizophrenia.