So far, I have had no delusions! that is the good news… increased my meds a little and it helped. If you have any delusions or think are delusions and need some help with them, please post them here.
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Trumanomatrix comes and goes
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- Everyone is an actor.
- Everyone is a soulless robot.
- Everyone is a philosophical zombie.
- Everyone is unreal, figment of imagination.
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I love you too Om
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Hey, joker.
It’s not personal.
I feel the same for everyone.
But not everyday. Almost everyday.
I don’t think my mom knows. These people are being manipulated by a force greater than them. Television and these screens have something to do with it. The dimensions of the monolith from 2001 were 1^2 x 2^2 x 3^2. The dimensions of the black rectangle you’re staring at are 3^2 x 4^2. This video will explain a lot for you.
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-Dead friend is still communicating with me. This has gotten a bit better.
-I came back wrong after psychosis, like to a different reality or dimension. There’s some lesson I’m meant to be learning here. The Universe or some higher force is giving me signs to guide me. I am predictably screwing it up.
-Birds. Different ones and their formations/numbers mean something.
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Still cant eat in a restaurant without having to safeguard my thoughts and still cant do certain things at home without somebody being around to have my back from the forces.
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I have accepted the whole mind reading thing. It’s just a part of life I guess
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When I increased my meds this stopped for me. Had the anxiousness and feeling like being all over a restaurant, meds pulled me back in somehow. More into myself.
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Do we have to accept it? I am not sure. Have you ever asked someone if they could read your mind? I think that would be good “experiment”… maybe we all give off unconscious thoughts, or vibes to others… body language can be read as well and be mistaken for reading thoughts. Some people are good at reading body language.
This. And avoiding all the meat cameras. They’re always staring. I try to just focus on my food.
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Have an “on/off” delusion revolving around a particular professor I had back in college.
She was some heavyweight academic with a lot of clout in certain circles, and this image was bolstered by these two bootlicking TAs she had.
Anyways, the class was sociology-related, however, most of what we were taught was some sort of personal theory she had about the construct of reality.
…Essentially, lots of bullshiit.
I was in my final semester at school, and this was right around the time that my prodromal phase kicked in.
Ended up graduating from university relatively unscathed by the illness.
However, I was always weirded out by this particular professor and her class. You see, part of the material we were learning delved into schizophrenia and other mental illness.
So my brain illogically put two and two together and surmised that I am part of some secret longitudinal study conducted by this professor and funded by my alma mater.
I have my reasons for thinking this, though.
Anyways, so the other day there was an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal about mental illness. I was thinking it would be some off-base garbage, considering the source, so I decided to read it to see if I was right.
Lo and behold, the author of said opinion piece was none other than that very same professor I had years ago.
Like, was I meant to read this?
Is the school keeping tabs on me?
Like I said, I do have reasons to think this— as crazy as it may sound.
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The last time I was delusional was in 2018 when I lowered my Olanzapine down to 10mg. I was lowering it because of the side effects. I was on 40 mg since 2004 when I was diagnosed.
The following year I transitioned to 60mg Latuda and my delusion went away.
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Feeling lack of autonomy as well… as if an outside force tries to control my life. Hard to shake this one. Makes me almost unable to do much.
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Had some visual hallucinations today, and thought it was intended to happen. Noticed faces on my new carpet and curtains again, they are new. I thought the Sun was doing it, or someone in the factory put them in there. But I realize that must be a delusion. I can better manage these delusions now and am less afraid. Already had some voices today, so the visual and auditory come in pairs.
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Why would it be a prison if everything is supposed to be love? there is a dissonance. I don’t subscribe to religious dogma’s. I don’t believe. Have to be careful because threads are closed quickly.
Everything is made in the computer
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Where does it come from, and how do we get rid of it?