I have started having anxiety lately and my breathing feels more difficult than usual and intenseness, hysteria and paranoia.
It’s only since I moved interstate to my boyfriend and I do t know anyone here and my neigher is not here yet and I feel or have felt attacked by his friends and parents .
Not very welcoming hey but others seem nice and they have the best local oranges I ever had.
Pretty small and without seeds and juicy.
I have difficulties coping some time but am so proud of myself for managing daily life and hygiene etc.
My boyfriend does not seem to understand or care or something.
I believe I have some one spiritually that loves and cares for me.
I have wondered if his friends and family are some type of fanatic nazis but he said he is not.
I do not want others trying to forse their sh## on me.
I have also thought a old man who is highly intense has projected his emotions on to me etc and a others who are jealous of me.
I turn to this forum to vent a bit.
Thank you for having me guyzzzz.
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I am trying to calm down.
I do not look or act worked up right now but I am.
I do not think I can go for lunch at my bf parents tomorrow.
He might get lone time with them.
Maybe they will invite his x who they all adored instead.
I have been saying no to all dinners and he has been going with out me.
They attacked me so I avoid them and even those I do not feel attacked by can be too difficult to be around in many ways.
Hope my psychiatrist and the mental care worker can and will help me.
I was going to change medication to geodon but I have already had so much change in my life that I do not think it is a good idea.
Thank you to the lady I agist of for taking care of my neigher till she gets here.
I did see her as a friend cause I was able to have a short chat with her and feel comfortable and relaxed which is unusual.
I could not chat with her family comfortably though so usually hi and not much more said.
I am not a nazi and I am not a Muslim and I am not a racist but I do stand as I stand.
I was a Muslim for one whole year though.
It has its beauty but its not for me and not what I believe in and I do not want it forsed upon me nor other ideals I do not agree with.
I am not a Christian either.

I tried.
I am not religious.
I may believe in something n thatzzz with me.
Hope I feel better soon.
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