I voted similar is best, but i honestly think that it depends on the person. Some people like the balance of having someone who is opposites to them. However, my relationship is built on things we have in common, and my partner and i have been together for 15 years. It’s really up to the individual, but food for thought for sure.
I like similarity in some things, like life values. Or certain character traits. E.g. I hate it if people are very indirect and passive-agressive in their way of communication. And try not to be that myself. I want them to be direct, and be okay with me being direct back. I get scared if they are not.
I like opposites in other things. E.g. I’m highly emotionally sensitive and intense. I love the immediate connection with someone with equal intensity…until everything explodes, that is. My ex was emotionally not very sensitive and very practical (not a psychopath, just on the less sensitive side). Which sometimes frustrated me. But it mostly worked very well, because he was so stable and calm. And for him, I brought a certain emotional and creative side into the relationship, that also added something, to his normally quite concrete and practical way of being.
The relationships I’ve had in the past that worked out best is where mostly, I am different to the man, yet, deep down, the same (ie. The small white circle in the black and the small black circle in the white).
Idk why but that seems to have worked out the best for me so far.
It’s like someone said above, makes me and the man balance out. Somehow.
I think in tradition of chinese yin yang one specter of determining if someone is yin or yang is the year they are born. People born in equal numbers 1970, 72, 74 etc are considered yang. People born in odd numbers 71, 73, 75 are yin. People born early or late in the year are more likely to have a more equal mix of both yin and yang. But still everybody is a mix. Nobody is just yin or just yang.
This is just one measurement of personality though. There are many others.
my wife and I are mostly opposite…she’s tougher than me, and my back board for paranoia and things…she talked me out of a delusion I had that residual for almost a decade…so thankful for her…she is my rock…I am weak really.
I suppose it just depends on an a person’s personality and needs. Some people need to settle down with someone who also has their quirks, and sometimes opposites make a very strong attraction.
“And sometimes the most lost and wasted
Attract the most balanced and sane
And the wild and the reckless take up
With the clocked and the timed
And the mixture is all of us
And we’re still mixing.” - Woody Guthrie, “She Came Along to Me.”
I’ve had opposite as boyfriends but now adays i don’t think i could sit at a restaurant with a boyfriend ordering a lobster that’s boiled alive.
My x is a hunter and uses glue traps etc which is cruel because glue traps can torture the animals for a long time.
I went beautifully with my x boyfriends I’m thinking of.
But I’ve changed and the person I want to be has a voice of her own and is not submissive despite being gentle and delicate.
I get suppressed by family and people (avoid em)so don’t need nor want no boyfriend suppressing me.
Finding a vegan or vegetarian who lives close to me could be difficult.maybe not.
I don’t want a overseas vegan just after a visa.
I don’t want them to be timid because I can be timid and i don’t want to be.
My x took care of me emotionally and I loved that.
He is so stable and I love that too.
I want a stable partner.
I don’t want complete opposite to me who is stuck up and cruel .
I don’t want someone too much like me either perhaps.
I appreciate life experience because it usually makes someone a better person.
I have family that live near me who have no life experience whatsoever.
They had privilege easy life.
Never bullied, never raped, never poor etc always had friends.they haven’t got a clue yet they look down at me as a loser and think they are my superior but I have so much more experience than them.things they perhaps couldn’t survive.
They see me as a loser but I’m not.they are because of the way they look down at others who have had hardships.