Its never ever going away?

This is how I am feeling.

Its right in front of me, with hope and faith I can, but for how long?

Is this only a pursuit ?

Example : I was doing some different activity like volunteering and I had to reach a place, paranoia kicked in, it was so high.

The day when I feel all is good with me there comes sz.


I think perseverance pays off in the end.

Funny picture btw.


I was thinking sz is like a bait, fall in it or not. Either one of it.
For me its like I have stepped on it and fear froze me it that position.

I know being here for 2 years need to be positive.

But hey, I even got to know sz is a disability from here, my doc never mentioned to me its a disability.

Anyways I will keep it positive.

I believe because the doc did not mention the above I did work. But did fail, never knowing its because of sz.

I was wondering now is detail study of sz is even necessary for a patient ?

What do you think ?

I still rember today what my doc said,
Little knowledge is an end of world.

Now I think I should have not googled stuff.

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Most people with sz can’t work for a long time.

But you can always prove you’re the exception to the rule.

Sz is a neurodevelopmental disorder with a strong genetic component. I read some books on the topic.

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You know @Jonathan2 I had a dream where I was admitted in hospital and got up from sleep and reflected on the things I am doing at present.

Its going nowhere.

But I do see some light far away hopefully there is a path towards the light.

I am trying to get a job, but… Yes no buts.
I should do it, get a job.

I don’t know I read somewhere to be a real man is to know when to give up on ones dream.

I should stop talking of computer science, the other day I enrolled in a course in java. The next day I am like what in the world I am doing.

I take an oath that I will lead a normal life, no more AI or NLP , gonna enjoy life at its best, I can.

Still having second thoughts, but what’s the point learning something when I have memory issue. Its just passing time.

I got to know few people started to talk in the back that I got this condition due to higher studies. Which is not true but still people talk.


I dream a lot too and can’t work for the time being.

It’s okay.

People talk about everyone. That’s what people do.


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