I know, that probably without meds I would be very different. Meds are the same as food or water for me. Without them - I would have zero control over me.
It’s still very hard to accept that it’s SZ: even if it’s mild form of it; I still need meds. I still need more good nights rest than other ppl.
And mostly - SZ means sometimes I am very lost and confused. Suspicious.
But as more years pass, I realise I can live with it. I repeat to myself, I have only one life: even if this life is a bit affected by illness, I still can have very good moments.
I never have positive symptoms on meds even on 10mg Abilify. Its my negative symptoms that kill me but my dr say they’re not sz. I am just lazy he says and not forcing myself to work. Im happy that your able to work good job
I must admit often it feels like I’m waiting for my life to start…to be free of the debilitating effects of the medication. It’s kind of like being in a “mental” prison. Very hard to accept.
I’m still hoping to get off meds some time, although the odds are against it.
It’s demotivating to know that your life can only go so far no matter what you do because of the meds. I don’t have any positive symptoms…that’s why meds are the main issue for me.
Well…on second thought I guess many doctors are like that. They are kind of a work police. Come to think of it my doctor was reluctant to give me 70% disability, she wanted me on 50%. But I had a case worker that went above and beyond in helping me find out how much was reasonable for me to work through a work programme. She came to to the doc with me and argued my case.
Being humble, appreciating life health more, struggling with easy tasks but excelling when you get it all right - a goal of mine. Hopefully I’ll get there.
If I never had sz, I never would have had a good enough book to self publish…so I consider that the only good that came out of me getting ill. sz is horrible , horrible. I am still haunted by intrusive thoughts, and I have to fight to keep my anxiety at bay by mentally diverting my mind to happy things when I get the fear coming on. simple as that. I feel free from sz now being on generic prolixin (fluphenazine).
Schizophrenia means for me these days I live a pretty simple life but it’s not super easy. I try to keep stress low but end up pushing it sometimes as well. It also means I miss out on a lot of life, feelings, perceptions, and joys.
I think I’m too afraid to travel overseas nowadays.
I don’t have any savings so it would take ages to save up money for overseas holiday but I’m too afraid of getting unwell then.
I was kindof psychotic in Vienna airport and possibly other places and it’s miraculous that I was able to board plane etc but the air hostesses were so disrespectful to me.
They wouldn’t give me a blanket because I was wearing summer clothes in snow anc everyone else thick jackets.
My hero a handsome stranger man stole a blanket of airplane and gave me.
Thank god for him.
I avoid people as they don’t treat me right.
I have certain beliefs that are not considered “normal”.
Such as that my voices and moanes etc might have been George bush doings as in army and I was innocent but to steal from me and act of hate and cruelty bombarded me with evil voices words and moanes.
I am unable to drive independently to everywhere except maybe three places.
