Two years ago today I was having awful voices telling me I had to kill my daughter. I was 7 months pregnant. I was terrified and knew I would give in because I wasn’t adequately medicated and hadn’t slept more than a few minutes here and there in weeks. So I was admitted.
I was inpatient for about 3 weeks. But that’s the last time I was hospitalized! It’s been 2 years!!! I haven’t gone this long out of the hospital in my entire adult life.
I think a big part of it is that I’m being more proactive in adjusting my meds at the first sign something is off instead of waiting until it’s too bad to fix. I’ve worked really hard with clinician to gain better insight and be more aware of my warning signs.
Though, I almost sort of miss the hospital. Not necessarily being in the hospital. That part sucked. But I miss getting to meet people that understood me and didn’t think anything of it when I saw/said off the wall things. They’re actually helpful instead of giving me weird looks. I miss the people I would meet in psych wards. Is that weird? I don’t actually care if that’s weird.
I know how you feel regarding missing being around the kinds of people you meet in a psych ward. I felt understood in the hospital, more understood than I’d ever felt before in my life.
If I ever have to go back, I don’t think I’ll hate it.
No, I don’t think that is weird. I think that is the best part about going to the hospital. Congratulations about not going to the hospital in 2 years, that’s great.
I’ve never been to one but I miss rehab because those exact reasons. I miss people understanding addiction instead of looking down on it. Or just not getting it. Congrats on your 2 years! This kind of news makes me happy.
Congrats on staying out of the hospital! And it’s not weird to miss it, or at least the people. Part of what’s helped me to get this far is realizing that I’ll never be approved by society, and that’s okay. I know now that wanting to be approved by society is vanity. You do you, as long as you’re doing well that’s what matters.
My last hospitalization was in July of ‘17, it was a direct result of my commitment to a long-term facility. That place destroyed me, took everything from me. So now I just play their games when it’ll get them off my back. I don’t look to them to help me, because they don’t. I’m the one who does that. I know what’s right for me.
