Two years ago today I was having awful voices telling me I had to kill my daughter. I was 7 months pregnant. I was terrified and knew I would give in because I wasn’t adequately medicated and hadn’t slept more than a few minutes here and there in weeks. So I was admitted.
I was inpatient for about 3 weeks. But that’s the last time I was hospitalized! It’s been 2 years!!! I haven’t gone this long out of the hospital in my entire adult life.
I think a big part of it is that I’m being more proactive in adjusting my meds at the first sign something is off instead of waiting until it’s too bad to fix. I’ve worked really hard with clinician to gain better insight and be more aware of my warning signs.
Though, I almost sort of miss the hospital. Not necessarily being in the hospital. That part sucked. But I miss getting to meet people that understood me and didn’t think anything of it when I saw/said off the wall things. They’re actually helpful instead of giving me weird looks. I miss the people I would meet in psych wards. Is that weird? I don’t actually care if that’s weird.