Its been a year

More like a year and 3 days since I first became psychotic. I had symptoms for a few months before that and I didn’t even realize they were out of the ordinary. I thought I was just discovering that people were telepathic. Any case this night a year ago I was lying in bed hearing the voices of my roommates telling me they were going to kill me in my sleep. I lay there in fear, reluctant to fall asleep. After a few hours I would hit up and old gf who lived in a town and hour and a half away. At about 2 am I decided to drive over there. Didn’t get there until late/early and the girl was more or less just ready to sleep. I couldn’t. Voices and delusions. They tricked me. Whoever coordinates schizophrenic symptoms tricked me. They actually convinced me to take a knife to my throat. I sat there for hours in this girls apartment while she slept trying to telepathically defend my right to live and be left alone contemplating the suicide they proposed. It was kill myself or face hell on earth. I should have just went to sleep the hell would have never came. But instead after smoking through a whole pack of cigarettes running on no sleep I decided to try and slit my own throat. Luckily by that point the girl was awake and she called an ambulance. In and out of the hospital still convinced there was telepathy for months until now finally im starting to see through the ■■■■■■■■ im starting to know whats real and what is not. There is no telepathy, what happens in my head is just that. I had learn the hard lesson as always. Thanks for reading. I’m just reflecting. Drugs are bad. So are energy drinks and 5 hour energy shots. So are stupid people who cant tell when someone is psychotic. To take mortimer’s words Skullfuck Schizophrenia. I’m really not that intense of a person but seriously SZ is total ■■■■■■■■.


I’m getting close to seven years from my first major onset. Oh boy, once it started, it did not stop. Like you, I eventually tried to kill myself and wound up in the hospital (over and over and over).

Congrats on being able to see through the delusions. That’s a really big step. It took me like four years before I finally started to accept that telepathy is not real, even with medication.

You’re on your way to the good life! (with bad days lol)

My 14 year anniversary is coming up on halloween.

And holy ■■■■ what a halloween that was! I can’t remember if the alien came on or before but that things kicked into full swing on halloween.

Can’t remember when i heard the giant walking either, on or before, just that i finally got blasted on that goddamn night.

My first “symptom” was when i arrived at my new home, i looked at my brother’s things to find out where he had been because i hadn’t seen him in years, when i looked at his diploma something in my mind said “he graduated from the school of death.”

And then while shopping for costumes with my younger brothers i was surrounded mentally by a pack of bloodthirsty who knows what, they were letting me know they were about to devour me, it was like a pack of wolves right there in the store.

14 long years.

Halloween is triggering for me - High anxiety and paranoia kicks in. People wearing masks to cover up their identity - spooky atmosphere, people ringing my doorbell at night. Halloween is a schizophrenic’s nightmare

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You are doing great. My onset was 13 years ago and I’m just now at the point where I can logic this out. You are really making fast progress. Very cool.

Good for you. :thumbsup:


Im so flattered that you said [quote=“BryanAshley, post:1, topic:6784”]
take mortimer’s words Skullfuck Schizophrenia. I’m really not that intense of a person but seriously SZ is total ■■■■■■■■.

Im so happy :blush:

It has been 6 years for me since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Unfortunately I had been having symptoms for many years before my diagnosis. I don’t really remember at least four of those years. The doctors said I was so far gone that they had never seen such extreme psychosis, and they were specialists in early psychosis. I only know that because of some of the transcripts I’ve recently received.

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Yeah it is a bunch of ■■■■■■■■. You just got to be real with having sz.