It was over before it ever began

We know mental illness is genetic. Either neurotransmitter or brain structure deformities. We were doomed from the moment of conception. Never will I have the full life of healthy people. This I can never accept. It was over before it ever began, I just didn’t know it. Also schizophrenia with very strong negative symptoms I believe is worse in the long run because you end up wasting your life and becoming so detatched. Psychosis is scary hell I know from experience but at least it usually ends. Negative symptoms last the lifetime. It was over before it even started. I wish I could’ve stayed In the womb, would’ve spared me a lifetime of pain.


A mixture of antipsychotics, supplements, and yoga has given me a large part of my life back. I feel like I can beat this illness.


I honestly wish you the best of luck. Unfortunately for me, I think my negative symptoms are too hardcore. Meds haven’t helped.and time has only made me more left behind. At least illnesses like Alzheimer’s happen when you’re old and you’ve already lived a full life. I think I’ve been at least schizoid spectrum since early childhood.

@Plindiana , I am sorry my man.
It is possible that schizophrenia is genetic, although neither of my parents has any mental illness,
much less schizophrenia.
But it is quite possible that schizophrenia is genetic.
I suffer from an array of symptoms, including botched cognition, sleep abnormalities,
low level of energy, some voices, some intrusive thoughts.

I used to have a lot of intrusive brain content, hallucinations, delusions, psychosis,
hostile thoughts.

I exercise intensely every day, often spending as many as 7-8 hours at the health club.
Somehow I manage to stay afloat.

I hope you find meaning in your life, remember, your life is invaluable even if it is difficult and you are
low functioning.


I can hold down a job and my own place but my level of aloofness from life is severe. I don’t take part or have desires grounded in reality. I live in my mind and have for too long. I feel like an alien amongst humans. I can’t relate. I’m so different


I felt lost when I was hearing voices on a max dose of Paliperidone (12 mg). Felt like there was no more reasonable courses of action to make me sane, until I came across no-flush Niacin. It has antipsychotic properties that helped me reduce my positive breakout symptoms 99% and let me halve my antipsychotic dose to just 3 mg morning and evening, which helped my negatives. I take 3 grams of no-flush Niacin a day, split in 3 doses, morning noon and night.

Worth a try! Try 500 mg (1 capsule, usually) and see if your voices go down at all.

@Plindiana, my level of functioning is very low.
I do spend many hours at the health club.
However, I am not capable of living independently or holding down a job.
One advice I want to give you is to be grateful for what you do have.
By the bye, in addition to my problems I am also socially isolated.
I have no friends.
Most of my contacts from school and the military dropped off after onset of schizophrenia.
The rest, those I had some ties with at the base I served, dropped off after I finished my military service.

So far, I haven’t got any friends.
I hope to “fish” someone at the health club.
My head is a mess so I don’t manage to approach people at the health club and try to befriend them,
but I hope to do it as soon as possible.

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I am, but my house is in condition of squalor and no electric currently , I charge phone on car. The loneliness from the schizoid detatchment from life is what hurts the most. Not having the wife and the kids that I could have if my brain wasn’t trashed. Just to go to bed next to another human being every night would make me a happy man

@Plindiana , I can’t even dream of living independently.
I never hoped for a wife, but I do hope for a husband.I might acquire kids through a combination.
Could you maybe try cohabitation?
Like living jointly with other people?
I don’t know how it compares for you with having a female partner, but it sure beats being alone,
especially if you complain of isolation.

I did live with a male roommate for a year but I also like privacy because of my illness. Too much social interaction makes me wanna run and hide. It’s a catch 22

It’s pretty simple: If you have decided that you won’t recover, well, you’re not going to recover. This is the ultimate form of self-sabotage. OTOH, I’ve yet to meet a single person who has decided that they will get healthier who hasn’t demonstrated remarkable improvement. Not one!

Which side of the fence do you want to be on?


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I want to recover but my illness hit so early in my life. Full psychosis at age 13. I feel too far behind but I understand what you’re saying. I always will continue to try. Just wish it would hit at age 70 like Alzheimer’s after I was able to enjoy life

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wow thats early! I became ill at 16. Im so far from the person i used to be.

Even before that I was schizoid. I would just be off by myself in my mind while my brothers would be playing together in reality. I was always “odd”

Was it hard to form relationships as a schizoid?. Im wondering what separates the negative symptoms and schizoid.

I kind of agree but kind of don’t. My negative symptoms r worse wen I am stabilised on meds however wen I was unwell I done a lot of stuff I regret even tho I had more motivation

@ozymandias if he can live independently , and has a job, he is high functioning for a schizophrenic,
no doubt about that.
He has a very good base for recovery.

I have to say, in the prodrome( from childhood till onset) I was sort of high functioning, I studied well and had friends,
but I felt “capped” as in John Christopher’s “The Tripods”.
I felt I was like a ghost in the prodrome.
And now I feel more alive.
I am low functioning indeed and socially isolated but I feel alive and I feel I have a spirit, something I didn’t have in the prodrome.
After onset, I studied mathematics with great enthusiasm, and in the prodrome I didn’t really have enthusiasm
for anything.

Yes. I would sit by myself in room and do repetitive ritual like tapping a pen on a open book while imagining things in my mind. I would do this for hours at a time. The outside world didn’t interest me. My family made fun of me for it. They were too uneducated to see it as prodromal schizophrenia or schizoid spectrum.

Okay is the apathy more severe now?

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Yes, at least before I had SOME interest in reality. I had sex drive, interest in music, liked gardening hiking etc. Now all that’s gone, I literally didn’t have any sexual desires left for a female by age 19 (dopamine hypoactive dysfunction in mesocortial reward pathway of brain) leading me to become even more detatched and aloof from the external world. I’m so far gone honestly.

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