For three months I had almost zero communication with my family (parents and brother)
Yesterday and today I spent several hours with them. Again arguments and name-calling.
It hurts as fu c k to be honest
This relationship will never be good.
I want to cry.
Now I am going to my bf place again. It’s way way more cozy and silent place.
I feel your pain @BringMeCoffeeNow. Wishing thousands of angels comfort you.
That sounds tough. I know what it feels like to have a bad relation with close relatives. Once I was living on the streets and my dad told me it was okay for me to come stay with him for the night. My sister found out I was on the property and she called the cops. She had gotten a restraining order against me for no real reason, I never did anything to her, all I said was that she was a bad mother. I ended up going to jail for a year because it was a violation of my probation and the case wasn’t over yet.
A few years have passed now and I am now welcome in the house. She tries to be nice to me and we’re on good terms but deep inside I still harbor some resentment for her having me thrown in jail for no good reason.
Anyway, my point is that even though your relationship with loved ones may not be good right now, in time things may change and get better for you. Sometimes family fights and if you don’t make amends then try not to let it bring you down so much, life happens.
It’s painful to hear that such events happen to many people… As for my situation—my parents have very short tempers, alcohol is an everyday thing every evening—there’s shouting, and sometimes even fights break out. As for my brother… he gave me a large dose of drugs during my teenage years without telling me—he simply didn’t say what the dosage was—and that was my first experience with amphetamines. It ended in a hospital stay, unfortunately. I was afraid to report him—so that our parents wouldn’t get mad at him—so the reason behind my psychotic episode remained unclear at the time. @schizophrenisaurus (My brother is eleven years older than me by the way)
and.. @Dude1 big hugs. Thanks for this support 
Amphetamines are no joke. Sorry to hear you had to go through that. You were kind to him by not reporting him. It must have been stressful at the time going through an episode and not being able to share why you were feeling off.
For me, to my sister our relationship is fine like it was before but to me it isn’t. I just try not to make a fuss about it. Even though to me our relationship may never be the same, we talk now from time to time. So I no longer feel like I’m holding on to hate.
I think in time the same may be for you where things might not be exactly how they used to be, but you might end up being on terms good enough to the point where you’re at ease with your feelings instead of feeling the hurt. Sometimes it takes time, it might not be perfect but try not to let your current standing with them being you down.
I have a dysfunctional relationship with my family too. My mother is cruel woman and my dad is a bitter man. My siblings all side with my mother and my dad is left to suffer in his miseries.
I’m the only child who tried ever to balance the power dynamics between the two of them, but truth be told - you really can’t do that with a controlling in the midst.
Maybe it’s better you do stay with your bf. I’d escape to a gf if I had one, I was so close to having one recently.
I need to find one that’s for sure, to be able to breathe
Sorry about your family doing that to you @BringMeCoffeeNow
I have lately just tried my best to make a little room for forgiveness just to keep the peace between my parents and I. It’s easier. They don’t change for the better. I don’t let them in much because of what happened but I see them a little now.
Not saying you have to do that by any means. Just sharing my story. I hope you have a good time with your bf.
My family is also dysfunctional. However, since my mid 30s things have improved drastically for the better with my mom.
I’ve had to stop talking to certain family members altogether, like one of my sisters, an aunt etc. I talk to my dad every few months.
I think it’s ok to have some distance and space from toxic family members. You don’t have to disown them if you don’t want to, but you can talk to them a lot less. It helps a lot, especially over time.
Sometimes I think—after the illness started, I changed too—maybe that’s why we get along even less with my parents now, and argue even more… But on the other hand—I’ve seen their darker sides, that they’re not always loving and can be cruel even when I’m struggling.
And thank you for your support and for the talk, even if it was short @schizophrenisaurus
I’ve experienced different things at home—from good ones to serious abuse (a black eye). Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether we really are such a dysfunctional family—or if I’m exaggerating, maybe even “making them worse” in my mind. It’s hard to say. I sympathize that you’ve had difficulties too. A family is supposed to be the most beautiful, cozy place—like a true home—but life doesn’t always work out that way, there are bad families. @MisterApple
People rarely change… I feel calmer when I have less contact with my family—after all, they don’t even try to understand me, they hardly care that I need medication or that things aren’t always okay in my life. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t even see each other… and I’m the youngest in the family, I’m not the one who should be making all the effort! @Bitty
Sometimes I think I need to take a break for months or even years—from both my brother and my parents. As I mentioned, my brother seriously harmed me—and my parents will never learn from anything. I have to take care of myself and rest. @LilyoftheValley
Well, my parents are fine, but as kid, I got severe beatings from my elder brother. This is childhood trauma, and he tried to control my behavior. Any wonder then that mind control happened to me in the sense that, I lose control. I am seeing a lot of my illness being caused by my childhood trauma, it was in ways tougher than what I can mention here at a public forum.
In a sense, but in a different sense, our experiences resonate. I was conditioned to fear in childhood, and that fear manifests itself in my experiences now.
There’s your answer.
I used to think this about my mom but she did eventually change. It is possible.
In regards to stopping contact until you’re healed a bit from everything, that’s totally understandable. You need to take care of yourself
I am very happy for you. That is a rare and wonderful blessing.
Thanks @shutterbug . I was severely abused and neglected growing up. Now, my mom is my biggest support.
I’m so grateful to have a mom now. I was emancipated at 16. Now, she’s my best friend
