My husband called to see if I would be okay if he went out tonight… I asked who all was going and where.
He got infuriated that I didn’t trust him and said he didn’t know.
I wasn’t asking because I don’t trust him. I was asking because I don’t trust ME! I didn’t want my mind to put him in horrible places. I tried to explain and he just got more angry.
I am in a really bad space now… I feel like those are acceptable questions! He would have asked me the same!
I usually dont like to get into other peoples marital affairs - but I will say that it is not unreasonable to ask him questions on it. Marriages should be as open as possible - My brother faced this with his wife last week I think it was. But he apparently knew where and with whom she was going out with. He was pissed to say the least, this was her second time going out without him in under a week
I don’t even mind him going out! I know he needs a break from me! I am exhausting. I just wanted my questions answered.
Yes I know what you mean. It is healthy in a marriage when people take some time off from each other - even if its for one night. My ex wife did this, and it was fine with me
I ask any damn question I want to and I find it peculiar that that would anger him? You are his wife and can ask any damn thing you want to !
It just fuels my paranoia.
Try not to imagine any bad circumstances or worry about this…he will explain fully why he acted this way when he gets home. He won’t be really late that you can’t discuss with him his evening when he gets home?
He is about to be here. He refused to go out.
well good, he has two babies and a loving wife to stay home with…I don’t think it’s right he can go out without you.
No, he should go out! But answer the damn questions.
I guess that’s the way it should be.
I think they’re perfectly reasonable questions. Have you explained to him that it’s not that you care really who he’s out with and you trust him, you just don’t trust yourself? That knowing whose with him and where he is going is simply so you can give yourself a piece of mind? I read in a book sometimes what is so obvious to ourselves may not be obvious to other people, even if they’re extremely close to us. Yes, this was a book about writing but I think it’s quite a profound statement we know what we think inside our heads but others don’t know unless we tell them.
Samples–those were not unreasonable questions!
very natural questions,that should have been answered
My wife and I always let each other know where we’re going to be and when we’re going to be back as a matter of courtesy. This is especially important as there is a daughter in the mix and one of us may have to reach the other in an emergency. Keeping tabs on each other is a normal part of marriage for all the couples I know including us.
Don’t think you’re the unreasonable one.
10-96
Well, we spoke. He felt that I was being derogatory and treating him like a child. We agreed that next time I can rephrase the questions to be less biting… He apologized. Apparently he was too afraid that I would do something to myself if he went out after that. I love him, I do, but, for an utterly brilliant man, he can be so dim.
i thought what you asked was reasonable…but maybe how you said it or the tone might have been different.
i can look at people and not say anything…it freaks them out.
or i have a tone in my voice, it is fine in my head…but how it comes out is not.
just a thought.
take care