Is my illness real

I know I have psychosis but I’m beginning to think that I don’t have schizoaffective disorder I don’t think my “mania” is definitely psychosis but do I need the lamictal or the Wellbutrin I know i need haldol I’m just wondering what everyone else agrees I do get a lot of grandiose delusions I thought I could cure cancer and thought I was a professional wrestler who had “millions” of fans idk i might be wrong I might continue with my meds

For more context my therapist has seen me where I was supposedly “manic” I might of just been happy he thinks I have schizoaffective disorder

Having serious doubts your illness is real is common in schizophrenia. I really can’t say if you’re schizoaffective or not because I don’t know. Maybe think back to prior hospitalizations or think back to when you were suffering the worst and ask yourself, “Did that really happen or did I just imagine it?” That might be your answer.
If a psychiatrist diagnosed you and thought from talking to you and observing you that you need meds that might be a clue that it’s real.

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Well one time i thought I could cure cancer and the world felt magical and I’ve had times where I felt magical and thought I was a professional wrestler that’s why I don’t doubt the schizophrenia part I supposedly get a lot of “hypomania” idk I missed a dose of lamictal and I’m ok I don’t recommend others do it tho

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Also I forgot to mention I have been hospitalized for supposedly “mania” and also I know I actually have depression episodes a lot of them and was hospitalized because of depression I’ve been hospitalized about 14 times in my life

That’s my point. They usually have good reasons when they hospitalize someone.

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Unfortunately they did during my supposed “manic episode” I was taken to the hospital in a police car in handcuffs and during my depression and psychosis episodes I get suicidal I got out of inpatient a month ago because I was paranoid depressed and suicidal so maybe idk that’s why I reached out for other’s opinions

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Years ago, I went through periods where I doubted I was really sick. Which seems ridiculous now looking back because I spent a year of intense suffering in a group home when I first got diagnosed followed by 8 months of even more suffering in the hospital. I can’t just pretend those things didn’t happen. I’ve recovered a lot since then but I’m really ill.

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Yeah I keep getting the idea and last time I quit all my meds I had a severe idk what to call it supposedly it was a “mixed episode” it was the worst experience of my life I still had the grandiose thoughts but I wanted to die I had such bad anxiety and I had a ton of energy and my dad had to restrain me I guess your probably right and I shoul continue with my meds

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It would probably be the smartest thing to do.

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