IDK, She always said I am stable(after psychosis), that everything is alright…
But after my memory, thinking test she said “well the test is not bad, it only shows youre anxious, and when anxiety levels are high it shows you are near psychotic thinking, but not in actual psychosis”
The psychologist who did me this test, which tested my thinking and etc said “you shouldnt stop taking meds. It seems biological what your’e having”
I dont get it… I crave for an real answer whats hapenning for 5 years, if not longer.
I dont know how to understand what’s wrong.
Even the therapists I visited said “I don’t see any problem with you”
Wtf, maybe I will never get an actual answer…
In fact my psychiatrist also said that we will soon stop meds,
But the psychologist with whom I did the test said that I need meds.
Ehh my english is bad,
The main point I wanted to say, that IDK whether I should trust my psychiatrist or no. because she always was so positive about my outcome, but this test showed some problems.
Think maybe your psychologist was saying to stay on meds as directed
because even though her test said you weren’t psychotic she’s not qualified to give you directions on meds.
But now I think about one thing,
My doctor is probably one of the best in my country (by ratings and recommendations)
She actually was the only one and first who helped me. Because overall I was psychotic for a year, but after visiting her for few months I started feeling better. She was the first who offered me ablify,
And after 3 months of visiting her I was “on my feet again”
She even said that real progress will be seen in two first years, and it was like that.
So maybe she is right. She saw me in the very bad moments, when I was not capable on saying or writing a logical sentence.,
I need to trust this woman.
I believe my BPD plays a role that I dont trust even her sometimes.
And that factor that most doctors in my life (while in hospitals) said that I will never be “me” again, and it will get worse and worse… she was the first who actually believed in me.