I’ve been working full-time for just under a year now, simply to avoid spending too much time with myself and my thoughts (because that hasn’t gone well in the past).
Now my question to you: Do you also find it so strangely difficult to get through the day - whether you go to work or not?
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Sure, I work part time but that doesn’t make my life easy. On my days off I still have trouble getting myself to actually leave my apartment and do something. Schizophrenia makes my life extremely difficult but I am still able to work and live independently. Nothing comes easy. I would be doing a lot worse mentally if I did not work.
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I don’t work but go to a clubhouse for 4 hours on weekdays and church on Sundays. I hate how i feel if i have to stay home and stew in my own brain. Also, going to these places has improved my socialization skills and i have actually built up a real support system. But, honestly, maintaining friendships can be exhausting work!
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I rarely go out. I have no schedule. My life is very disorganized, and I don’t like it this way.
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It would be significantly easier for me to maintain some kind of routine if I could fix my sleeping. Right now, if I wear the cpap, I get about an hour and a half at a time. If i dont, its slightly better and I can get 2 to 3 hours at time. But either way results in my sleeping during the day to catch up, and all the days and nights end up melding together to a certain degree because of it.
Very difficult to have a routine if you could be sleeping to catch up any time during the day or night.
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I have a good daily routine that involves taking care of our dog. I only worked three jobs before I got sick. They weren’t hard but I don’t think I could do them now (cashier and unloading trucks).
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Thank you to everyone who shared their current journey with me. 
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I’m unable to stay awake from morning till evening, which is what I would need for a normla functional day. At the same time, I’m unable to sleep through the night normally as well, so I’m ultra tired everyday which again makes it difficult to function on things like reading.
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Everything is difficult with pronounced negative symptoms. I have made the decision that if I am going to go through life feeling like I’m dragging a boat anchor behind me, I want something to show for it. I go for nothing less than gold. Literally.
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