i think having something positive to focus on is extremely beneficial to our mental health, it can take our minds off of other things that are bothering us, things i like to focus on have built up over the last 5 or so years ever since i started another med and they include-
this forum
art class
swimming
holidays
aikido class
volunteering
college
community
communion
friendships
family
becoming independent
shopping and cooking meals
prayer
and i am sure there is more…
so i’ll just come out and ask you…what do you focus on?
Nothing, except, probably, my delusions. A few years ago I focused on success, academics, and math. Since my last hospitalization, I have no goals, drive, motivation, obsessions, or intelligence. I’m writhering away and staring into the abyss.
I have to stay mentally or physically occupied all day. It’s just how I am. If I am not doing something, I come undone quickly.
It makes for a productive life, but the downside is that I cannot really relax, my definition of relax is still involving keeping my mind busy.
Someone told me that it’s called “use it or lose it”, that is, use my mind or lose my mind.
Right now, I am relaxing. I don’t have class until an hour from now and I get on here to keep my mind busy or else I go nuts. This is actually pretty stimulating, I am definitely typing away some thoughts.
I also exercise rigorously every day. I have a workout planned with my friends for later in the afternoon. I worked out yesterday before school and I worked out the day before that in between busy work, application stuff for graduate schools.
It’s a bit like a blessing and a curse–I am known by my friends and basically everyone who knows me as a type A, but the sad truth is that I cannot help it and that I do lose my mind unless I keep doing type A things. I find everyday things like cooking dinner and eating breakfast difficult because it’s just not mentallly stimulating.
Well… for me it’s about constructing the platform of my life…
I can eat pretty well for 100$ a month… took me a few months to figure out how to do that…
Took a solid 4 days to get my computers running with windows 10… also created my own repair jump drive with all the software I need on it.
I can emulate every major console up until the release of the original xbox… that took a while. Trying different emus and tweaking each one to get them running full speed…
Spent 2 days configuring my projector… finally got it to where I could shut the screen off without it falling asleep… so it has instant off/on functionality. Bought a cheap switcher so now I can switch between all my devices without changing cables or anything…
Switched totally to LED lighting… should pay for itself pretty quickly… reduced the total cost of what I would have spent powering bulbs throughout the year down to 17% of what it was…
Got some more upgrades for the computer down the line… in 3 months there won’t be anything I could think to add.
Figured out how I’m going to print my own posters… 8 x 8 in square images on regular paper… margins folded back and then taped together on the back side… I can use whatever art I want and make it what ever size I choose…
Hmmmm… that’s examples of what I spend my time sorting out.