I sometimes think I’m doing the right thing, but I’m honestly not. I’m making people indulge in hatred and nonsense. All of my threads are basically ■■■■■■■■ because I’m basically ranting about how I’m sick of people and how I hate myself. I feel like I can’t do anything great.
I feel like I don’t do anything contributive here. I just offend people and make people feel like ■■■■.
It’s ok . Don’t feel bad about it
Your drawings are nice contributions.
I’ve been offensive too. For the New Year I’m going to take inventory more.
As for you and helping you, do you ever feel in the back of your mind that you’re sabotaging yourself …
AND a little bit furthermore, you maybe do it just so you CAN BE angry?
Or something akin?
Don’t get me wrong I’m projecting here. We’re really a complicated type of (G)od’s creature, wouldn’t you say?
Hi laetitia 
i think i know you
Never found your posts offensive - i just figured you was venting. None of us are perfect - i cop the odd flag when im not thinking about what im posting
If this is how you choose to express yourself, and you find the venting helpful, continue doing it
However, if you feel it isn’t helping posting about it here, I’d try and find an alternative way of trying to release some of your anger.
Nobody intentionally goes out of their way to be a dick, but some people are just oblivious to the impact their behaviour has on other people.
There are good people out there. I can only find them in my family and here. I have been shunned by my community, and only paid nurses and doctors will take an interest in my well-being, as no one else cares.
I used to be bitter about it, but I find a comfort in being on my own, as I find it liberating and a great source of independence not having to rely too heavily on friends who just let you down in the end.
If the venting helps you then I guess it is ok.
But if you just can’t seem to get over it I would say you have been caught up in focusing on the problem instead of the solution.
The world can feel cruel and can hurt us, but a lot of it is what we make it in our mind. We make a choice what to think about things and how to deal with them. Things can get better, but to convince the mind you have to let go of old ingrained thoughs and replace them with something else. Maybe something objective and reasonable.
@Mr_Hope @daydreamer @naturallycured @Om_Sadasiva @Joker @Naarai
Thank you for your helpful replies. Yes, I was venting- it helps to get my frustration out and also get help from others. Thankfully a therapist is going to see me from the 29th to work on my trauma and C-PTSD.
I’m starting to feel a little hopeful that I don’t have to repeat patterns of letting myself down in low self-esteem. I’ve tried so hard to get my trauma resolved but due to how long it is, but my past therapist that it may as well take more than 5-10 years because it’s so deeply engrained.
But nonetheless I’m excited to go forward and start working on my feelings.
@anon10648258 am I chopped liver or something? Or was this just an oversight? I feel like crap now myself.
It’s good to vent. No worries.
Sometimes it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, when you vent, but I promise, if it makes you feel better, then I believe it’s for the best 
I mean if I flip the table, it is probably the same with me, some ppl may find some of my posts uncomfortable too it’s just life.
Oh no I just forgot to tag you! Sorry about that!
Thank you for letting me know. I thought I tagged everyone. Are you doing ok?
I managed to take a small break from the site of late…
something sort of humorous is I can’t log on using my desktop of late and my father who is the computer wiz in the fam, well it all has me paranoid he did something on his end.
What’s more is I believe he can see any and all SMUT I’ve looked at… (porn), this is…
I’ve grown up though, and my attitudes have changed A LOT on the matter.
Back to you, I notice you on here because I move sort of awkwardly too.
People assume you have deeper seated issues when this happens(a theory) is what I now think… it makes people want to pick up the nearest tree branch and whack you in the face with it.
Sorry for the long post but I wanted to bring it back on topic for you.
Its ok to vent, dear @anon10648258… I know you suffer physically too and i relate on this to you… Not all ill people have a physical problem too and me too i get terrible around mine tbh 
…
My threads are hard too i find, but i hope we’ll both do it .
Dont feel guilty, i know how it is too .
I’ve never been offended by your posts. I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time.
i’ve never been offended by your posts either. I think it’s ok to vent if that helps for you =)
Peoples rants don’t bother me. I know I can be upsetting. It doesn’t bother me what other people say, usually. Unless they’re lying about me.
I personally have never been offended by your posts. When we are symptomatic sometimes we write things without much thought. Thankfully there is a good flagging system to let us know to watch what we are saying. Good reality checks.
Yeah, I tend to deviate from normal thought when I’m psychotic. Usually when I’m ranting I’m psychotic or depressed. That’s why flagging is there for reality checks.