I wish it weren’t so but it is.
She was lazy and I tended to get a panicky headache. If I just could have said to myself “She’s being lazy.”, I could have talked to her about it.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Maybe you’re ready to discuss it with a mental health professional. My issue was with my father. I’ve heard several guys say, “I swore I’d never be like my father, and I turned out just like him.”
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I don’t know if I agree with the ‘lazy’ label.
When I look at people in that way I only see a surface label that is mostly ‘societal’ conditioned programming - so to speak.
In my brothers case? If I look at what he’s feeling underneath the surface - it’s obvious. He’s not ‘lazy’. He’s actually extremely hurt and refuses to live because of those pains.
I think low self esteem due to pain makes us inactive and then we use the term “lazy”. That’s it for me, anyway. Maybe I did not consider my mother’s pain. She didn’t talk about it.
And that was obviously a big part of why she was pained.
It sounds more like you picked up many her beliefs which also come from societal conditioning.
The term ‘lazy’ is too self-righteous. It isn’t at all understanding.
Our mental health practices can’t possibly make beneficial leaps if it operates on these terms. And… it hasn’t.
If a person refuses to move because of pain then our understanding is that the term ‘lazy’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ are … ‘wrong’ - for lack of a better word.
It’s that the wound itself lingers and holds us. That is the most and only compassionate way to see it.
Sometimes we just don’t have the energy to give needed attention to healing. Then, the pain lingers.
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That’s what bothers me right now.
I’m not sure I have understood what real healing is, but I would think it would lead to being myself more freely.
I keep revisiting the pain and then I wanna jump to eat something or drink something to numb it away.
I know you said you get tension around the head? I know I looked that up sometimes but that’s where I get some relief/tension struggles.
The stomach is a problem for me and from what I remember reading a long time ago it’s like a confidence issue.
Information is all over the place. Some stuff is too focused on feeling good without really addressing what would resolve it.
In general though I feel resentful towards the psychiatric industry because it has not been helpful; it’s all centered around ‘coping’ more than ‘healing’ and ‘resolving’. That and they didn’t take me seriously about feeling suicidal. It’s like you get treated as if it isn’t a serious thing…
I’m afraid doctors are in it for the money.
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A lot of them might be.
But it might also be that their desire to actually help isn’t as strong as their need for self-preservation.
Only the first person to do an assessment of me actually felt a bit about me. It seemed like that anyway.
Money is about self-preservation, too. Doctors are only human and as of now our disease is incurable so, admittedly, they don’t have answers.
but if only others could realize just how much energy I burn up with my pain, and how to ‘resolve’ it.
It takes most everything I have and leaves nothing but an empty soul scratching at a mere existence.
To others I seem lazy and not to care, but I have to wonder how ‘the normals’ would do wearing my Sz labled cape on their shoulders for one day?
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