I have been single for 14 years. One of the main reasons my husband and I got divorced was because he wanted sex a lot more than I did. I can actually live without it altogether.
I started going on asexual dating sites about 12 years ago and have messaged damn near everyone. In all those years, I have only met 2 men that are actually asexual, and both lived so far away it was unrealistic AND I wasn’t really attracted to them.
I decided about a year ago to try traditional dating sites hoping to meet someone who is asexual or has a low libido but haven’t found anyone. They all make it very clear, very soon that they have a very high libido and want lots of sex.
One man that I met on a traditional dating site, I really liked but he wanted sex immediately so I kind of pulled away. he has text me several times to come and stay the night. I responded last night saying I don’t like sex. He replied back with “OK, I will stop messaging you then.” Kinda broke my heart that he doesn’t want to go to a movie or museum or something else that isn’t sexual.
I recently reconnected with a man I met 14 years ago, when I first got divorced. He is 20 years older than I am. He told me during a Zoom date that he had cancer treated (he is fine now) and it impacted his libido. I told him that was fine with me because I don’t like sex anyway. He responded to that by saying he wants to take meds to be able to do it, even if he can’t orgasm “for my ego”. So…back to the drawing board.
I have had a couple women on here say that they have relationships that are asexual, but I can’t find one and I have been on all the asexual sites for YEARS. IMO, truly asexual men are RARE, They almost don’t exist. My life would be so much easier if I liked sex, but I don’t. 
and that isn’t going to change.
Thanks for sharing. You sound like a sensitive soul. I havent got any advice rather than keep looking. Shame you cant find anybody.
I wish you all the best.
I’m 63, and my sex drive is waning. I’ve heard that if someone has had sex in one of the places where I’ve lived you have an std. I’ve had sex in a couple of these assisted living centers for the mentally ill. I don’t know if my std’s are curable, and I’m not too worried about it. I think that if I got off my med’s my sex drive would reawaken, but I’m starting to wonder what is so great about sex. I’m very asocial, though. I’ve gotten to where I prefer to be alone. I don’t dislike people. I just have other interests.
I actually really like people, but I am lonely. I met a couple women on Bumble BFF (where people are looking for friends only) so we will see where that goes. I am having dinner with one next week.
I remember being in on SZ.com a few years ago and a man posted that he doesn’t want relationships, he just wants the sex. I was thinking I am the total opposite. I don’t want sex, but I want a relationship.
Thanks, Seth. I appreciate it. I will keep trying!
@Headspark
I miss my ex-husband a lot. he was my dream man except that he was very, very sexual and I’m not. I am 52 now and it isn’t getting easier. Even the 70-year-old man that I recently connected with, who has had cancer and has a low libido as a result, wants to take meds to be able to perform for his pride. This pressure on men to have sex trickles down onto the women they want to have it with. If he could just let it go and be cool with a low libido, we would be great together.
Im sorry about that. Why do you want someone, its fun being alone. Way less stress.
Maybe its the fear of aging?
I’m organically a very social person. I like being around other people and BS’ing. Ironically, since I am asexual, I lost a lot of female friends because I am one of those women that got lots of attention from men. Talk about ‘cursed’ at birth. So, now I am trying to make new friends at 52.
I hear you, though, about just enjoying being alone. I am taking hypnotherapy courses so I can perform hypnotherapy on people and get my social interaction in that way. Wish me luck!
Good luck i guess. When I was in sixth grade i borrowed a hypnosis book from the library and thought i was going to run that f school.
I didnt understand a thing from the book thou 
It was hard for me the few years after my gf brokeup with me due to sz but now I am better I feel as good as if I was in a relationship. I socialize with my 3 friends everyday, thats enough socializing for me. Besides I can’t currently work on my current meds.
One alternative if you can’t find an asexual guy is to give a good handjob lol
I think there is something defective in me that doesn’t relate well to others. I would be a hobo if I didn’t have my place at an assisted living center for the mentally ill. That doesn’t mean I don’t want ANY company. Sex has gotten in the way of what could have been satisfying relationships in the past. These days sex is like an itch to me. I scratch it, and it goes away.
This site is a pretty good way of socializing. Having the common experience of sz is a strong bond. I used to drink a lot, and the drinking buddies you have are good for socialization. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Ex-drinking buddies are a big problem for me now. It’s been five years since I last drank.
Good for you for quitting drinking. I quit Xanax 2.5 months ago. It quit working for me, so I had to taper off. It was extremely difficult to get off of.
I just joined a website called ‘RomanceOnly’ for celibate people and the entire website, all ages, genders and areas included only has about 200 people! and 90% of them are women. I’m sure the majority never even log in. This is so hopeless…
There’s lots of fake sites with bots out there too
I joined one of those too! Everyone looked like a movie star! I was on there for about 5 minutes and then deleted my profile. Scammers!
[ bites @non-average on ankle to help with lonliness and hides under couch again ]
awww. thanks! This Covid isolation crap isn’t helping much either. I have been on MeetUp today and several other sites looking for buddies. Even when they have MeetUps, they are often online, so I am still sitting in front of my computer.
Try no longer lonely. Com