@PinCushion, try the crisis texting line in our crisis resources. I’ve used them, it’s helpful.
If you are feeling suicidal, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a suicide prevention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries.