I’m scared to walk outside. In stead I have to stay in apt for fear they’re gonna shoot me or kidnap. They know my first name. I called CTC they told me to come up there. I told them I’d like to please go to respite. They won’t leave me alone. I’m serious. I’m stood over everything I do.
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I think at this point you need to call 911 and ask for help @roxanna.
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I went through this. I kept looking out the window and I swore there were people waiting me for my outside. After several days I got hungry since there was no food inside. I decided I didn’t care if they kidnapped me or shot me. It was better than staying inside and starving, so I went outside. There was nobody there.
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Did you end up going to the CTC? How are you holding up?
I’m still at my apt. Dude followed me he kept banging over me as I went to bedroom
.wy do I bother.
Its never going to stop
It is going to stop. One day you will find the right meds and you’ll finally have some peace.
I’m sorry it’s taking so long, though. I think respite is a really good idea, though.
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I’m think respite might help.
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Respite sounds like a good idea @roxanna.
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The illness is probably making you think more is going on than really is. The disease makes a lot of people sensitive to noise. The disease makes the harassment seems worse than it really is.
If you could only find a day program somewhere to go to on a regular basis to get away from the situation in your apartment. I have to force myself to get out too or I’ll sit here ruminating and wanting revenge and that could end badly. I like my apartment and I’ll keep fighting but it’s a losing battle and I’ll probably have to move. It’s much more than just losing a bunch of battles though. Anyways, @roxanna, did you try to get an hour or a half hour of crocheting in?
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I am going to crochet after lunch. I know its hard but I will do my best. Thanks for your concern. Hugs
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I had a dream I was making a collar necklace.beadwoven. it was beautiful
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Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that one day every man would be judged for his character and not the color of his skin. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it but it was a pretty powerful dream. The weirdest about my dream is that it seems vaguely familiar, I don’t know why.
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What’s the point of going on if I’m gonna be harassed another three years?
I get this a lot. Much of my psychotic symptoms is raging against the injustice of tiny human interactions that feel enormous to me. And imagining my revenge. I’ve never acted on these feelings but it’s a worry. I’ve been writing myself loads of enraged emails to get some relief. I read them a few days later & they sound raving mad.
I think maybe if youre in repite, you will be in a situation where you won’t be doing any alcohol or drugs, plus you will be taking your meds as prescribed. Also you will be in a controlled environment where you know no one is yelling at you from outside.
I think it would be a great way to get yourself stabablized to where you could leave and, if you stay med-complient, start a new life for yourself, free of voices.
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I didn’t realize she was drinking and doing drugs. That’s not good. No wonder.
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I don’t know if she’s doing drugs or liquor. I’m just saying that with a respite, it will be a controlled environment.
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Still wishing the best for you @roxanna!
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Sometimes when you feel like you can’t take it anymore you just have to take a deep breath and keep going. Things are always changing. In the next moment something good could happen that can turn your day around. Maybe someday you will find a good med that helps you feel more safe. Though sometimes I worry you don’t live in a very safe area to begin with from what you post.
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I don’t do drugs or alcohol
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