Just out of respit

hi! I am so stressed out. my first few hours out of respite were good, and productive, but then the loud thoughts and voices started crowding my mind again. I am terrified to go back to work on Monday. I get so depressed and feel like I hate my live sometimes because I seem to alienate people and freak out all the time. I think my family thinks I am a drinker or a drug user even though I never used drugs and I stopped drinking in april of 2012. the stress of my paranoia is exhausting. living is so hard. I can’t keep anything straight. can you relate? any advice?

the first while is always hard. been there enough times and probably will b again once i go to the police about my abuse. i’ve been paranois as ■■■■ and hearing voices non stop 24/7. only the meds that put me to sleep gave me respite. they were there the second i woke up all through the day, every second. it was awful so i know how u feel. just remember this time won’t last and u will get through it. i wish there was something i could do to make it better. all i can say is hang on in there. talk to your pdoc about ur meds. if they’re not working try something else. u have only the voices and the paranoia to lose. hugs. xxx

Think of anything you might do to comfort yourself - a warm bath, a soup, stroking yourself. I just went on a med for anxiety and it is helping a lot - it is Lexapro. My good wishes to you and good luck.

thank you so much for this kind and meaningful support… I am listening to music and trying to read today. sometimes the voices are so loud and I can’t focus on anything but tv, so being able to read is very good. tonight I will have a good fish dinner.

hi jaynebeal… thank you sooooo much for this kind and thoughtful response. I am thinking of changing my meds, currently I take Depakote and clozaril. they help, but I still hear the voices and loud thougts every day. maybe I should talk to my doc but I don’t have an apt until march. I am lucky to have a kind boyfriend who supports me. I have so much optimism some days but other days feel the uphill struggle is just too steep. I really appreciate this web-site and all the help I get here. best of luck to you and I hope you are feeling strong! tons of hugs…

ur alright blueworld and u will get through this. we r all here for u in good and tough times. post as many times as u like about paranoid issues or voices and we’ll do our best to try and calm u down. if u want a private chat that’s more indepth feel free to pm me. xxx

thank you jaynebeal… I hope you are feeling good and strong… look forward to more posts and reading and support… xo!

I used to highly function as an honors student on a full scholarship in college while unmedicated. Now I still do but I made straight A’s since I’ve been on medication. I think it’s best to focus hard on reality, ignore hallucinations and remind yourself that you know its paranoia and theyre not really after you. But I know your mind still thinks paranoid things, you have to notice the patterns of thinking and call your brain out on being wrong. I also just made it my goal to do the littlest to get by and then go to bed. Bed was a safe place.

hi~ thank you for your thoughtful response~ I am working on self-talking to not get carried away with the voices. sometimes I just really need alone time to process everything. I get so overwhelmed socially because I can’t healthfully react to the voices. but I am working on it… congrats on getting such good grades and working so hard! I am glad the medication is working for you!!