So sick. Not Covid. No one else in the house is sick. But I haven’t left the house, so I don’t know where I got it. Thing is, I’m emetephobic and do not handle vomiting well. Vomiting and having a panic attack simultaneously is horrid, btw. By the third time I was ill, I was begging and praying for God to step in and have mercy. I haven’t prayed in years, so who knows if He listened. Fourth time, I started screaming for hubby to just take me to ER. I think I pulled my diapragm on the left side. My stomach- whole abdomen- is uncomfortable and throat burns. I haven’t eaten in over 36 hours. Couldn’t keep down two crackers, or my medication, or even sips of water earlier. Worried about dehydration.
I don’t know how to proceed. I have been having on and off abdominal pain for a long time, and sometimes, it prevents me from eating. More recently, nausea every week or so. Now this. It may sound silly, but I’m hesitant to get looked at. Everytime I think something is really wrong, nothing is found. I question and doubt myself over everything I feel now.
I took a shower in case I go that route. I’ve had a break from barfing for 6 hours, so that’s been nice. But I can’t even lay down because of the pain in my diaphragm. Sitting up is best. I ate a popsicle just now. Keeping fingers crossed. Kids are trying to steal my green popsicles.
I also hesitate to see a healthcare provider about physical problems cuz they also never find anything wrong and I feel that they just think it’s in my head. I’ve been having problems related to my new AP but they don’t believe me that that’s what is causing my legs to cramp and ache. It’s been affecting my ability to sleep and when I called the hospital (I got out Saturday) they were like, oh, we can’t help you since you’re not a patient here now, so then I called my pdoc, and they were like well, you didn’t get that particular med from US, so you have to wait until your appointment next week to get that med from your provider. WTF? It’s Cogentin, not like I’m going to smoke it to get high!
I know that it could be serious. I really do. But what if it’s because of the last time I ate? Nausea kicked in quickly after, and things progressed from there. I was in the ER a few months ago, and my CBC was normal. It’s especially difficult right now because it is so very difficult to leave my room, and especially the house. Car rides scare me. People scare me. And I have missed 5 doses of 10mg diazepam. Super nervous and anxious in the house, let alone with leaving. I am going to ask hubby to call me an ambulance if I get sick tonight. I am not aggressive or argumentative with others and would go along with them docilely. He just can’t tell me until after he’s done it or I’ll panic.
I tried to call my pdoc this morning and was bounced around to four of the group’s offices before giving up. I genuinely think something’s not right, but what if Im all upset, and it turns out to be gas?
Made it through the night. I had a 12 hour reprieve (though felt like poop) before getting sick again. I hadn’t eaten anything but a popsicle plus sips of water all night, but this morning, I thought I could handle diazepam and Tylenol. Stupid. My jaw hurts from this now, too. I have awful TMJ, but this is just excessive.
Sorry if I’m just whining. Even if no one reads this, I just want to whine.
I went to the ER. They couldn’t find anything life threatening- no blockages, signs of cancer, etc. I have never had such a nice group of people work on me in the ER. They may not have found what was wrong, but they were all frickin’ awesome. They gave me antiemetics then eventually morphine for pain. I did not like the morphine. It made me feel very… jittery? I was surprised it helped the pain, though, and the jitteriness went out away with a popsicle. I was told I can take Zofran every 6 hours, so I started that and tried a diazepam. I have kept it down so far. I managed to sleep for a few hours despite no APs or sleep meds for a few days. I don’t know what to do about blood thinners, but I’m taking minimal meds (Tylenol for pain, dissolving Zofran, and diazepam), and I don’t want to risk more because when I’ve tried, I get sick. At least I shouldn’t start benzo withdrawal.
Thanks for listening. Hopefully, I’ll feel better soon.
They sent me home with referrals, but I’m going to get referrals from my PCP instead. Different groups, and my PCP doesn’t hesitate to refer to doctors not in her group if she feels they are more beneficial. I like that.