I'm scared about going abroad with friend

I have a holiday to Greece booked for next year. It’s for me and my best friend and it’s the first time we’ve been abroad together and it’ll be his first holiday abroad in his life. He’s really looking forward to it. I have paid for us both to go because he’s on a limited income.

The thing is I booked the holiday when I was going through a high period, everything was good and I felt great but now my mood has gone down I’m really dreading going aboard, I’m worried about my illness and being stuck in a foreign country, I don’t have the confidence I used to have and I think the hotel I booked is too posh. I don’t want to go but I can’t let my friend down. My SZA is still very turbulent and over excitement or pressure can make my symptoms worse and I don’t want that to happen without any support around me. I have only been out the hospital one year and that admission was for stabling myself severely trying to get a microchip out my armpit. I still feel mentally vulnerable. I won’t have the support networks in Greece as I have here if psychosis came back, that time it was acute and fast.

I feel bad about it but I don’t want to go. What should I do?

Can you give him the extra ticket to bring someone else with him?

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Next year is still a long time, too.

It’s good to think ahead though.

I would cancel if you can get your money back.