It doesn’t really matter but I’m obsessing over it.
I think I have psychotic bp instead of sza, which is basically the same as we came to the conclusion yesterday.
I spent all morning yesterday obsessing about it, and researching about it. Now it won’t get out of my mind.
I will talk this over with my pdoc on my next appointment. Ask him the difference between them, what he thinks.
He never really asks about my moods, and I never tell him. But like @Rhubot pointed out I was all over the place just a few months ago, although I’m better now.
My pychosis are always accompanied by mania or depression, and my psychotic symptoms always come with one of the two. When I had thought broadcasting when I was a teenager I was very depressed, then periods of mania and depression in between, then manic on my psychotic break when I was hospitalized.
I’m just venting. I think I don’t want to have sz/sza. But in fact, bp fits me better than sz.
You remind me of me five years back I obsessed about it for so long I got tired and eventually it didn’t matter. Because every time I brought it up they said I was in denial. Eventually they silenced me. I wish I spoke about it more then and didn’t listen.
No wait it does matter. If I spoke about it more I would be on the Tegretol long time back and avoided so many lost jobs over its so I say say what you feel
I was once told by a doctor that “the problem with patients is that they don’t read the textbooks”. By this he meant often people’s symptoms don’t point to a barn door diagnosis. The range of experiences are more complex and subtle.
I think I should be more honest about my symptoms with my pdoc. I have a terrible flaw, “everything is always alright”, and I don’t complain to him. I should.
pffft that sounds like how I talk to my therapist. “oh yeah everything’s fine… well… except for this one thing…” cue the waterworks, pass the tissues, apologize x200
Yeah it’s annoying. I wish my pdoc would let me try an anti-depressant and/or or mood stabilizer before jumping right to APs because my episodes only seem to happen when my stress/depression are very intense. Seems if I wasn’t so activated and/or depressed in the first place, I’d never have psychosis. But my pdoc like many treats APs like all-in-one wonder drugs that treat everything at once, which also makes it like the right diagnosis doesn’t matter so long as the wonder drug swoops up everything. Funny I think lately now I am getting hypomanic, that’s what happens when pdocs don’t listen! Argh. Hopefully your pdoc listens Min, they should if you normally never complain, now it will be unusual when you do speak up so you can milk it lol.
I’ve been reading into my med, Invega Sustenna, and it’s appropriate to bp as well. It has a mood stabilizer component. So it’s not about the treatment, it’s really about the label. I shouldn’t be so worried.
Aps are good to stabilize moods as well, I don’t think your pdoc screwed up. Be sure to tell her about your hypomania, I always keep quiet and that’s going to bite me in the arse someday lol
I think it was because I was court ordered I developed a fear about medical professionals, but their job is to help, if he doesn’t think it’s bp he’ll be sure to tell me.
My former pdoc was more inclined to think bp I think, because of my father’s bp. I don’t know where he stands on it.
The treatment is the same though anyway, so I just want a label.
True. I had a situation a couple months back on facebook… I think I told this already… but a guy I know made a post about how schizophrenics can’t vote and I replied… “Well I have sz and I vote”, he changed his post removed the part about the szs, deleted my reply and sent me a message saying “I’m sorry you have bipolar” LOL … Anyhoo… I don’t know, here it’s all basically the same, bunch of crazy people just different names for the crazies.
If you can’t forget this then go ahead and try to resolve it, but try not to obsess over it. That kind of thing can take up way too much of your attention.
I think they are just different, and it’s also from a female’s perspective with me, as well (I only know a few of yall’s genders on here). But like with bipolar and borderline, you get seen as generally crazy and maybe even a betch, like psycho betch type. And it’s easy to prove you’re not the stereotype. But with SZ it’s like you have the plague, it’s like people are more creeped out / awkwardly afraid. You’re untouchable even by the same misogynist trolls who write articles on the horrors of the BP or BPD woman. They won’t touch the subject of a SZ woman with a barge pole. I even remember when I got a BP diagnosis, my mother wanted to be all involved and ■■■■, she read up all about it, wanted to go to support meetings, etc. When it changed to SZA she doesn’t want to talk about it at all, she pretends like it’s not a real thing.
Thanks @Vertigo, yeah you’re right about Invega, I just found that out this morning, which gave me a relief. And I am feeling better since my dose was upped. Less mood swings, less psychotic symptoms, I’m cool.
I feel your pain about the dual diagnosis, as long as your symptoms are being treated, that’s what you can hope for.
You might be right about the stigma, but here szs aren’t seen as violent, just crazy, as I told everhopeful a guy couldn’t even distinguish the two, people are just ignorant about mental health, all they know is depression.
@crimby you’re right, I’ll try not to obsess over it.
