My sister is getting married in august and just kind of assumed me and my other sister would be bridesmaids. We have to wear black dresses and nice shoes, and look presentable.
I’m not so sure I want to, to be honest.
First of all, I don’t want to wear a dress. She said I could wear a suit, but I can’t afford a suit. I can’t afford a new dress either, for that matter, nor shoes.
And I’m also nervous about going up in front of everyone and standing there while she gets married, especially because I have TD and tend to make faces.
I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I want to tell her I don’t want to do it, but on the other hand, I don’t want to cause trouble on her big day. It’s supposed to be about her and her future husband, not me, and I’d feel so selfish for making it about my needs.
She wants her wedding to be perfect.
Is it possible to rent a suit instead of spring for a brand new one?
I second @gcar-- and also think it’s cool your sis is down with you wearing a suit. Sounds like she’s thinking about your needs even on her big day by not forcing you to be uncomfortable in a dress.
I was best man at my good friend’s wedding but it was 1 year before my illness. I enjoyed myself even though I am not a social butterfly. If you choose not to go I’m sure your sister will understand. It comes down to whether YOU want to go. People in our situation should prioritize their own needs.
I want to go to the wedding, but I just want to be a guest. I don’t really feel like being a bridesmaid.
I just don’t know if that feeling will pass again or if I should talk to her about it
Me and my 2 brothers had one suit between the 3 of us in our 20’s. Whenever one of us had a fancy occasion to attend we’d phone each other…“Who’s got the suit?!”
You can pick up a suit at a discount store, can’t you? Also, the fact that your sis knows you have TD and isn’t shy about you being a bridesmaid is a wonderful thing!
I think talking to her about your reservations would be best. You can discuss and reach some kind of solution. You make a couple of good arguments about not doing it but you might want to tell your sister your not wanting to be a bridesmaid has nothing to do with her, it’s your own personal problems.
That said, sometimes we have to not think of ourselves and place other peoples feelings and needs ahead of our own and do something for others despite how uncomfortable it makes us feel. She will (hopefully) have only one wedding day and it would make her happy if you participated. Maybe that trumps any misgivings you have about it. Maybe the way to look at it is that the ceremony will only be for around an hour and the audience will probably be some people you know and that the focus will not be on you, it will be on the bride and groom.
How will you get back home for the wedding @Pikasaur? It may be difficult to fly depending on how the COVID-19 situation evolves between now and August.