I’ve been with my gf for two years now. She is a great girl and I believe I love her but lately she has been complaining that I don’t do enough around the house. Considering I don’t work and she is working all day and then sometimes has to come home and cook or clean. I know it’s not fair for her. I have problems with motivation so I wonder if I would be better off alone. On the other hand I wonder if I need someone to help me. Sounds selfish though.
Help the poor girl
She can’t do anything
Try to make chores around the house
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What’s one chore that you think would make her happy?
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Maybe you can cook for her
As a surprise when she comes home
From a hard day of work
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What if you got a part-time job, that might release the tension a bit? I find that working provides a pretty good distraction. You will have to force yourself, but once you’re in a routine you won’t regret it.
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Maybe you could work out a schedule for chores and set reminders on your phone?
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Dang dude, dang. That’s a real toughie…how’s your med regimen working?
Hey @VanDam. I have a similar feeling at times with my partner. I also lack significant motivation to always do the chores around the house. I often feel a bit guilty about it, because my partner has to do all the vacuuming and stuff, while i struggle to do even basic stuff. I do work full time, however, and he only works part time so he says he isn’t bothered that i don’t help out as much around the house because of this. But i feel handicapped and disabled. I’ve also wondered if i would be better off on my own, that way he wouldn’t have to “look after me”. But then i try to imagine what it would be like if i actually did live on my own and i realise that i do need some support.
That being said, i do push myself to do what i can housework wise, so it doesn’t all fall on my partner. I find setting myself one goal - whether it be doing the dusting or cleaning the bathroom, for the day helps. I know i need to do that one task, and because it is only one thing, it isn’t overwhelming to me. Perhaps you could try something similar. Set aside one task to do for the day, and then push to do it.
I can imagine. With the motivation and energy I have to do household chores (> zero) it would be harder for me (and the other person involved) to live together with someone, although it could be nice, happy, loving, helpful. I can see how that leads to frustrations in a relationship, on both sides. It’s not really good for equality in your relationship if she needs to do all the household chores next to her job.
I have no idea about your financial situation, but can’t the two of you hire a maid to do the biggest chunk of household chores once a week for a few hours or so? I personally can’t afford this because I only work parttime, but lots of people I know have someone like that, it is somewhat affordable in our country to hire someone for a few hours.
I also can get a free aid from the municipality for the household chores, because I’m “disabled”. They will teach me how to structure my household, etcetera, and also help practically. Is there something like that where you are?
Also, personally I find it much easier to find the motivation to work parttime than to do the household. Perhaps that is the same for you?
It would be kind of sad if this broke up your relationship if you love each other… 
I don’t think that is worth it! I think you just need to work on finding a solution. Hope you overcome this issue, the two of you.
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