Schizophrenia.com

I'm never really here


#1

It’s a source of great frustration for me. I just feel like I’m never really completely “here” anymore. Whenever I’m awake there’s a big haze over my brain. I have a lot of trouble focusing on things outside of myself, unless they’re extremely engaging, like social interaction, and even then I can zone out sometimes.

I’m just tired of feeling like I’m never working at my full potential. My head’s all over the place. At least in my dreams I’m fully awake and brimming with energy. I’ve done a million things in my dreams that I’d never have the energy to do in real life.

Feeling upset is all. Focusing on the world around me is like slogging through mud for me. My head is really hard to get out of.


#2

As vague as this might sound, there’s a way to bring the outside into your head and when you’re done spit it back out. I had the same haze and it really is frustrating. For me it came down to finding a way around it rather than finding a way out of it. If that makes any sense


#3

I do the same thing. A lot of people do. I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re probably just going through a phase.


#4

anna I wrote almost the exact same thing a few days ago LOL im thinking its a side effect of the powerful psychoactive drugs but my sister has it too and shes not even schiz.


#5

Dreams can replace your real life if you let them. Life takes much more time and effort to achieve what you can get in one good night’s sleep.
Life is for Realists-let them attend the real world, at least we can be happy every night.
Right?
(but what about the daytime? how to prepare for that mess?)


#6

I have really pleasing dreams because I always wake up in a good mood thinking about the last thing I dreamed. but I can never remember what it means really so I just go along with my life in the morning but always think about my dreams. I too am struggling in life with having more energy and peace of mind. I am an addict and recently fell down. I hope you find hope.


#7

I’m just starting to lose sight of what makes this world more important or better than my other one. In both I have a sense of continuity, though my one in my dreams is more exciting. In my dreams I’m always full of energy, boundlessly creative, clever, mischievous, fully confident in everything I do. I’m basically a god with insane abilities and powers and everyone in the dream world knows who I am because of it. I’ve been to jail several times, I’ve raised families I’ve killed, I’ve survived, I’ve saved countless lives, I’ve been to war, I’ve been to Heaven and Hell, the list goes on.

The nicest parts are that I have complete control over everything that happens in my dreams. If things get to be too much to handle or too scary I can just change the dream, or if it gets too awful, I wake up. Also there’s really no consequences. If someone dies, they can show up again. Death means nothing. Heck I brought someone back to life just last night. If I royally embarass myself I can make everyone forget it ever happened. Things aren’t always perfect in my dream world, but I always have a chance to fix things.

Now enter real world. I have a heavy body that I’m stuck to. I can’t switch between bodies of different inhabitants of the world to get different perspectives. I can’t change my own form. In this body I am pretty weak. I can’t fly at all. I can’t phase through walls. I have no powers. I have no control over the world around me. If things are bad, I can’t always fix them, and if things are horrible, I can’t wake up. In waking life I’m exhausted, 24/7. I can’t be as vibrant as I am in my dreams because the energy just isn’t there. Everything here has permanent consequences. Why is the waking world so much better and considered more important than the dream world? I don’t understand. My quality of life here is vastly lower than my dream-life. It’s literally depressing to come back to this every day and deal with mundane things that cause me heaps of anxiety and distress.

To be honest, if I had to choose which world to cut ties with so I could live in the other completely, I would choose my dreams. So called “reality” is not so fantastic, and I can’t see why everyone is so caught up in it to the point of obsession.


#8

There’s a bumper sticker - Honk if you’re not there.


#9

My eyes seem to glaze over a lot of the time. When i’m in the car, talking to someone.
I have to give myself a shake to focus…


#10

Don’t know how old you are, but I’m 50 years old, and still live more in my own world than out in this place called reality. Most of my problems stem from being forced to attend events I have no desire to go to, such as a pdoc appt, jury duty, the DMV to register my vehicle, SS office to cange my last name (got married a year ago and can’t seem to make myself go in to change my name)
So the only thing is, when the time comes for you to reenter the real world to do things that have consequences if you don’t, could you do it?
Another thing is, the dream world is not self-sustaining. you can’t survive in it and have to venture out for food and other things, although I went 5 months without leaving my house except for the pdocs appt, gas and work. No where else. No grocery shopping, I ate whatever was in my fridge (I lived alone after my husband left the state) and went from 140 Lbs to 94Lbs…(I’m 5’2") not pretty. My pdocs freaked out over everything I said and I got tossed in the hospitalmore than 8times in less than 9 months, even got taken in by the police, compliments of my pdoc again.
So, it is nice to have a dream world you can visit everynight, even a quick trip during the day(nap), but you will be healthier if you can manage to spend equal time in the real world, but knowing you can go to the other world at the end of the day gives you something to look forward to.


#11

i think what could be happening is you have taken more interest in “dreaming” than living in the real world. so the real world has become dull and boring to you since you are able to do so much in the dream world. you look forward to sleeping and going into dreamland than you do being awake.

maybe try to just observe all the little beautiful things that life has to offer. it could be as simple as watching a bird fly. or the complexity and amazement of all the mechanics that go into allowing that bird to obtain flight. etc… it might help