Nothing exciting - just a lot of negativity. You know, I could be happy if I’d just let myself be happy. But, no, I seem to feel the need to sit around and make myself miserable. This is ridiculous. Happiness is possible. Quit looking around for it. It’s a state of mind.
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I think counseling would help you. You seem to have had a horrible childhood. I had a rough childhood too. You’ve got to find joy somewhere. Like for me I enjoy cooking and eating. Granted I eat too much but…
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Yes, I had a ridiculously horrid childhood where I had no one to turn to. I have help now but it is very difficult for me to accept. The lack of ability to trust and to express myself isn’t normal. It’s a new idea to me that people can actually help.
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It has always been very difficult for me to accept compliments, even from family, friends or even my therapist.
It’s like I don’t have receptors for positive energy, only negative energy.
I would say though, now looking back on therapy, I can start to see and understand the good they saw in me. So it hasn’t been a complete waste of time at all
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It’s been said by a man smarter than I that “Admitting there is a problem is the first step to a resolution.” I know you’re one of our more senior members here, maybe if you can at least partially clear out some of those cobwebs, you’ll have a little more peace. I’ve always liked you, grumpiness, butt jokes, and all. 
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If I’d just stop feeling like I’m the only person in the world. Others really have things to offer. It’s a bad habit from being isolated.
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