Nothing exciting - just a lot of negativity. You know, I could be happy if I’d just let myself be happy. But, no, I seem to feel the need to sit around and make myself miserable. This is ridiculous. Happiness is possible. Quit looking around for it. It’s a state of mind.
I think counseling would help you. You seem to have had a horrible childhood. I had a rough childhood too. You’ve got to find joy somewhere. Like for me I enjoy cooking and eating. Granted I eat too much but…
Yes, I had a ridiculously horrid childhood where I had no one to turn to. I have help now but it is very difficult for me to accept. The lack of ability to trust and to express myself isn’t normal. It’s a new idea to me that people can actually help.
It has always been very difficult for me to accept compliments, even from family, friends or even my therapist.
It’s like I don’t have receptors for positive energy, only negative energy.
I would say though, now looking back on therapy, I can start to see and understand the good they saw in me. So it hasn’t been a complete waste of time at all
It’s been said by a man smarter than I that “Admitting there is a problem is the first step to a resolution.” I know you’re one of our more senior members here, maybe if you can at least partially clear out some of those cobwebs, you’ll have a little more peace. I’ve always liked you, grumpiness, butt jokes, and all. 
If I’d just stop feeling like I’m the only person in the world. Others really have things to offer. It’s a bad habit from being isolated.
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