I accept that in the eyes of the world I’m a vulgar schizophrenic, obdurate, uncompliant, who refuses to live outside his head. And I understand why in the language of men my pet obsessions might be labelled as delusions. I’ve come to understand that my rejection of the sz diagnosis is rooted not so much in lack of insight as in my ideological and intellectual prejudices, most of which, if not all, precede the illness’ onset. Goffman, Foucault, R.D. Laing, even Jung, among others, continue to shape my anti-ppsychiatric sentiments. I have decided to give you guys a brief but much deserved break from my persistent existential obsessions. It’s plain that these obsessions -particulary solipsism- are not only too easily dismissed as unhealthy or even psychotic, but that they have come to be seen by “minimal self” theorists as the defining feature of sz-spectrum disorders. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to acquiesce to this view.
Do I/we exist? Are we human? If so, what does it entail? Is there God? Are we conscious, and if not, what are the implications? Do we live in some kind of simulation? Obsessing over such matters might be seen by most as unhealthy, presumptious, pointless, pathological, even unholy. Respectfully, I beg to differ. Wish me luck.
It is not the ability to think or intellectualise that is the problem. It is the inability to let go of such thoughts and let them control your very being.
Good luck and don’t let it tear you up into pieces.
I personally believe reality itself is an energy simulation that at the highest forms is physical; and the lighter density is where the soul materializes. I also believe in God. I’ve been reading the teachings from the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Buddhism. It helps me become more grounded–practicing non-attachment is pretty impossible for me. Everything is a type of lust–money, life, beauty, art, creativity, music. It would be nice to start working. Mundane activity seems to help keep me sane.
I guess you mean the opening statement. Moonbeam above stated a similar objection which was subsequently cleared. I can see now I didn’t make sufficiently clear that “I accept that in the eyes of the world I’m a vulgar schizophrenic” and, “I accept the world is right in seeing me as a vulgar schizophrenic”, are two completely different and even antithetical statements. The gist of what follows builds on this antithesis. I hope I have clarified this to your satisfaction. This is as a good a moment as any to start my sabbatical. All the best.